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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Miscalculation

This is the part where I forgot that August is a 31 day month, meaning I could have slacked off for another day. Darn, I didn't cram 2 posts in last minute after all.

Monday, August 30, 2010

YNTD!

Since most of us are probably of the drinking age, I thought it might be appropriate to do something beverage related. There's a site out there called the Drunken Moogle, which is devoted to video game inspired drinks and drinking shenanigans. It's got some really neat ones, such as the Metroid and The Drink is a Lie.

So it got me thinking... could I make a video game inspired drink? I went onto my favorite MMO and asked a few of my buddies on there. The conversation went like this:

Them: Ok so what alcohol do you have?
Me: Uhh... whiskey.
Them: Alright got any ice?
Me: I don't at the moment... but wait!

I looked in the freezer and I had... popsicles. So I present to you my drink--

The Whiskey Popsicle! It's uhh... whiskey + a popsicle. Inspired by my friends online, so -technically- it was video game inspired I guess? Overall I guess it was ok, I let the popsicle cool it down and mix with it for a new flavor... kinda...

...

Don't try this, it was kinda nasty.

Engrish with Class!

So recently I was re-watching something that my Japanese teacher in high school showed to the 2nd year students, a drama called "Okane ga Nai" (I have no money). I was mainly doing it for a nostalgia trip and bad English at times, but in one of the later episodes I spotted this:



I couldn't help but laugh at the obviously bad camera angle and Engrish message. Seriously, who spellchecked and did the formatting? You'd think all of that text would be centered or something. In any case, the next time I need to enter my assword, I don't want to get dened.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I love my apartment.

This is a real text message I just sent:

"When I went to throw away the dead mouse, the cops were out questioning Mumblecigs."

Someday I'll live somewhere nice enough that I will be able to have a nice, relaxing Saturday morning without dead rodents and police activity.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

This is not a YNTE Movie Night.

I envisioned the YNTE Movie Night as a way we could all watch terrible movies together and have a laugh at their expense. Fun times are had by all! But this month, that just wouldn't be the case. I can't recommend you see this movie, even to laugh at it, because I like you people, and this is maybe the worst movie ever made.

The movie I saw this month is M. Night Shayamalan's "The Happening", and it is maybe the worst movie ever.


Let's start with the tagline: "We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening." From this tagline, we can learn two things: 1, that the marketing guy they hired LOVES capital letters, and 2, there is nothing good about this movie we can market other than "You Liked That Guy's Other Movies, Right? Remember?"

The movie start off with Marky Mark teaching a junior high science class about bees. He then proceeds to deal with an uncooperative student by saying "You're a pretty boy, but in the future you'll be ugly! You should care about science! Say hi to your mother for me!" He then goes on to posit that at times, the best scientific explanation is that things don't make any scientific sense. This is to plant the seed in your mind that later on, when things don't make a lick of sense, it's because of SCIENCE.

Next, we meet Zoe Deschanel, who is way too good of an actress to be in this movie. She's dating Marky Mark, but in the ultimate example of wish fulfilment, is cheating on him with none other than M. Night Shamalan.

The movie also has John Luigi-gezamo, a math teacher who is convinced that statistics is just about making up numbers.

Now here is the plot: Humans have a special part of the brain that has one purpose -- preventing the person from killing themselves. Plants are pissed that humans have been killing them for years, so the plants team up with the wind to murder people, but only in New England. The plants exact their revenge by emitting a toxin that overrides your brains notkillyourself center. Then, after a few days the plants get bored or something and stop. It makes no sense, but come on people, SCIENCE DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE OR BE ACCURATE, IT'S SCIENCE.

The real problem with the movie is that not one person in it does a single thing that makes logical sense. EVER. The best example of this is when Marky Mark and pals come upon a group of people who have holed up in their house to wait it out. He asks to be let inside for some food. The people inside tell him that they are waiting it out and will not open their doors or windows for any reason, as the virus may get into the house. Marky Mark refuses to let it go, but the house people are insistent that they will not open up the door or windows. They then illustrate this point by opening up the windows to SHOOT KIDS. And this is just one of the many times in the movie where you will be scratching your head in confusion.

You would think the ending would be "plants are out to get us, maybe we should start being nice to the environment." Or perhaps "plants are out to get us, lets kill all the plants". Or at least "plants are killing us, lets at least act like we care or take some sort of action as a result". None of those were the ending. Instead they went with "plants are out to get us, BUT SCIENCE IS CONFUSING so we will continue our lives as if nothing happened.

"Unexplainable Force of Nature" my ass. It's just flat out lazy storytelling. And it's inexcusable.

This is worse than "The Village", which was about an old timey cult of people with bizarre rituals but it's actually just crazy people in a national park. This is worse than "Lady in the Water", where a lady is found in a swimming pool, but she's actually a mythical creature called a "Narf" who is at risk of being killed by grass dog monsters. M. Night's movies aren't so bad they're good, or so bad they're funny, like many of the YNTE Movie Night selections. They're so bad, they're REALLY FUCKING BAD.

Yet for some reason, I keep watching them. Will I see "The Last Airbender", in which all the Asian character must be played by white actors unless they're bad guys? Probably. Will I see "Devil", a movie in which 5 people are stuck in an elevator and one of them IS THE DEVIL? Also probably. I was going to compare watching his movies to staring at a car crash, in that it's horrible and you can't look away. But this is more like watching a guy crash a car, get out, crash another car, get out crash another car, and people keep giving him cars because he successfully drove once 10 years ago.

Honestly, this movie was bad. Really, really bad. Do not see it. But if you're like me, and despite knowing exactly how bad it will be watch it anyway, I am sorry.

Gotcha!

This is the part where I pretend to say that I fooled you to get you out of the house and into a KFC, but secretly I didn't do my sleuthing to see that it was fake, as it was from a reputable (kinda) site that I browse frequently (Geekologie).

But! That doesn't mean we can't make one by buying the proper things at a KFC to make one. Are you man enough to make your own skinwitch? It's like making a taco burger at Jack in the Box, except instead of putting a taco on a hamburger, it involves ripping the skin off of 5 chicken breasts and putting it on a bun with cheese and bacon. Totally doable!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

If you thought the Double Down was bad...

KFC, which announced the idea of the Double Down on April Fool's Day and actually went through with it, has another new product that they are releasing: The Skinwitch. For those times that you want KFC and yet you'd rather have bacon than chicken. It may be a bit hard to tell from the picture, but basically you have layers of KFC-style chicken skin layered with cheese and bacon. Now that fried outer crust on the chicken is good, but I don't know about you, but I'd like to have some of that chicken, too.

But regardless, I will probably have to go and try one anyway and accelerate that heart attack that's going to happen someday.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Laziness strikes again!


Yes, it's another one of those times of year, where summer classes end, prompting you to be lazy, and fall classes begin, prompting you to also be lazy. In effect it looks like I may be cutting it close to this month as well. But, I have something up my sleeve...

Something that is both food and beast.

Something... fearsome.
It is Beartato. Relevant!

Anyway, gotta get back to work.