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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Matt is a Slacker

So at first I was like "damn, I don't have an idea for the last post of the month on YNTE."

Then I was like "damn, I didn't post pictures on any of my blog posts this month."

I'll make it up to you all with a corgi being adorable.




And then Evan's future wallet became slightly lighter.

the Asylum

Anyone who knows bad movies knows about the Asylum. They're a group of filmmakers that make terrible movies with titles similar to other mainstream movies, making old ladies think "Isn't this that new movie that's out? Oh, I'm sure my grandson would love this!" And also providing drinking games for those who get it.

So when I bought Halo Reach a couple weeks ago, Wal-Mart gave me a $20 gift card for free. And right next to the checkout was a bargain movie bin. My brother, having the knack to spot these movies, found 2 double features and 1 triple feature DVDs of Asylum films. Films such as Alien vs. Hunter, War of the Worlds 2, Monster, and 10,000,000 BC. I can't remember all the films we got, but I was disappointed when we didn't find gems such as Transmorphers, The Day the Earth Stopped, and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.

There are 2 constants about these movies. Firstly, if they don't nuke anything, it's probably not a movie that was sponsored by the Sci-Fi channel. Secondly, if watching these movies turn into drinking games, you become wasted. In any case, stay tuned, as these may be the basis for a future YNTE movie night.


By the way, speaking of terrible movies, George Lucas decided he wants to remake all of the Star Wars movies in 3d. Starting with the Phantom Menace.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

YNTE Gaming Night: Halo and Metroid

Once again, the two franchises released at approximately the same time, in a competition to test whether Nintendo or Microsoft has the bigger ego. Regardless, I picked both up.

The first one I played through (on Co-op with my brother) was Halo Reach. For those of you who don't know, it's a precursor to Halo 1, so it's like Star Wars Episode 1, where things are less advanced (supposedly) and yet they look prettier. However, they stayed pretty consistent--Grunts didn't know how to speak English, couldn't dual wield, etc. But the inclusion of Brutes and new weapons kinda throws off the ambiance a bit. To be honest, it was a good storyline and a good addition to the franchise, but it felt the same as all the other games. If you've played other games and you play this, it just seems like recycled material. But, I suppose the attention to detail elsewhere makes up for it. As for the other modes, this game is even more feature rich than the other games. It still has multiplayer, the forge, and several other solo game types to help you earn those credits and achievement points.

Then afterwards I played through Metroid. Since this was on the Wii, it obviously wasn't as shiny as its Xbox antithesis, but it was still expertly done. Instead of its other 3D predecessors that were created by Retro Studios, this one was developed by Team Ninja, famous for their Dead or Alive franchise and the 3d adaptation of Ninja Gaiden. And highlighting womanly jiggly-bits. It seemed like an obvious choice for them to develop this game, as Samus is probably Nintendo's bustiest heroine, but for once they put away the boob-physics and made a seriously good game without staring at her chest in every cutscene. The gameplay was a blend of platforming/FPS/puzzle and played mostly like a 2D/2.5D game, and the cutscenes were also expertly crafted. The constant narration of trivial things by Samus in these cutscenes was kinda off-putting at times, but looking past this just gives the game a complete feel. In addition, after completing the game, you can view all of the cutscenes back to back in the theater mode, which turns the game into a feature-length movie.

Both were good games, I recommend picking them both up. Sorry Evan, Metroid won't add to your gamerscore still.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Talk about targeted advertizing!

Regular readers of this blog know that I am a fan of KFC and it's over the top unhealthy food, namely the Double Down - a bacon sandwich that uses Fried Chicken for buns.

But apparently KFC has been having trouble advertizing. Apparently when using traditional advertizing venues such as tv and print ads, too many rational people see it. They really want to target the ads to idiot young males like myself. So KFC hatched a brilliant plan. Instead of advertizing on TV or the internet, they'd advertize somewhere sure to attract idiot males:

Sexy lady butts.
It's like they're saying "You like big asses? I can help you get your very own giant ass!"

Source.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

(re)Name that band!

This is a photo of the band "Men Without Hats", famous for their song "The Safety Dance":
Notice that one band member is not a man, and one is not hatless. Perhaps "Without Hats" is supposed to signify that they only wear one hat at a time.

New band name: People of either gender who may or may not wear a hat but will never wear upwards of one hat.

Alternate new band name: Men Without Hats, Snowmen With.

Alternate alternate new band name: We photoshopped in a disinterested lady.

That's what I've got. Can you do better?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Dammit Evan!

You beat me to it. I was gonna make a post about how I would make the imaginary sandwich not imaginary, but I guess I didn't jump the gun fast enough. Probably because the nearest KFC to my house is like a 15-20 minute drive away, and that's effort. And gas money to pile onto that high cost of KFC.

Still, against my better judgement, I will probably partake on this endeavor at some point.

Epic Quest: The Skinwich

Today my girlfriend let me know that I would be on my own for dinner. She would be gone, meaning I could eat WHATEVER I WANTED. This was a mistake.

I decided I wanted to have a Skinwich.

Sure, it's fake. KFC doesn't really serve the Skinwich, and for good reason. It could very well kill a man. But they do sell other food items containing all the ingredients. This was my in. If they wouldn't sell me one, I'd just make one on my own.

So I hatched a plan. I'd buy a "Doublicious Burger" for the bun, cheese, and bacon. And I'd buy 4 chicken breasts to pull the skin off of. This posed two problems:

1) KFC is expensive, and the whole experiment cost me upwards of 15 dollars.
2) It also, however yielded far more food than I anticipated. If you attempt this, be sure to have a friend ride in the car with you when you go to the store, lest you get some judgemental looks from the employees.
The "Doublicious" did not yield as much cheese or bacon as I had hoped, but we were past the point of no return, as I certainly wasn't about to drive all the way back to KFC to spend MORE money. It's basically a single layer of cheese, a single layer of bacon, and a single piece of chicken. The only thing "double" is the buns, and two is the generally accepted minimum amount of buns a sandwich should have.
I had selected breasts because I assumed I would be able to peel off a big piece of skin, but that didn't turn out to be the case, either. It kind of flaked off in rather small chunks which I stacked up in a pile. If I were to do this again, I'd choose a cheaper piece of chicken, since it all will turn out the same. Two breasts worth on this pile.
I then pulled the chicken off the bun, because hey, this is a SKIN-ONLY sandwich. Unfortunately, some of the cheese (which was already at a premium) had melted to the chicken, so that piece also had to be skinned.
I then piled yet another breast's worth of skins onto the bun.
Then I put the two halves together and voila! Skinwich.
And yes, I actually ate it. In front of a mirror, so there would be proof.

But here's the real surprise: IT WAS SUPER TASTY. I ate the whole thing, and then ate much of the leftover bits and had myself a tasty good time. It was better than the sum of its parts. I know the whole thing was just a joke, but they joked their way into a tasty sandwich.

Would I do it again? Probably not. It required a larger investment of both effort and money than I had hoped, and while it was probably better than anything else on the menu, not by enough to justify the cost. Probably.

Although, I'm going to say it here (and you should take this as a personal challenge): the Skinwich is worth eating at least once.

Just don't eat two, or your heart will explode.

Friday, September 3, 2010

August Roundup

Matt already posted it. Evan is slow, and by the end of the year, he'll be 12 dollars broker.

Also, Matt and I each managed to create two of our posts about an imaginary sandwich. Go us!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Triumph

Evan now officially owes me at least $10 (well, after this post it will be $12... but I digress). That is $10 more than Tom will be getting from Evan at the end of the year.