September Roundup!

Matt and I have both pulled through another month. At this point I owe Matt a minimum of 20 dollars by the end of the year, but if he keeps up this consistency, it will be the full 50.

At this point I am declaring the gauntlet A SUCCESS. The blog has been doing better than ever, officially having the most posts of any year, and there are still many months to go.

So the question that crops up is this: How will we top it next year?

I've got some ideas, nothing final yet. Here's a few of the things bouncing around my head.
-Upping the number of posts needed per month before a payout. 7? 10? 5.3?
-Adding a per-post payment for mooks like Steve and Tom who don't hit the threshold (not as much as if they had)
-Bringing in more writers (unpaid at first?) Umi? Jason? Rena? Who knows?
-Alternate Revenue Streams (Maybe KFC will sponsor us, or at least send us some sweat pants)
-A podcast?
-More regular (monthly/weekly, etc) posts, like YNTE Movie Night
-Sharing incentives?

That's what I've come up with so far, By the end of the year I should have it all fleshed out into a more solid plan. But I would love your input and ideas! Anything to add? Any ideas seem unreasonable? What do y'all think?

Talk about targeted advertizing!

Regular readers of this blog know that I am a fan of KFC and it's over the top unhealthy food, namely the Double Down - a bacon sandwich that uses Fried Chicken for buns.

But apparently KFC has been having trouble advertizing. Apparently when using traditional advertizing venues such as tv and print ads, too many rational people see it. They really want to target the ads to idiot young males like myself. So KFC hatched a brilliant plan. Instead of advertizing on TV or the internet, they'd advertize somewhere sure to attract idiot males:

Sexy lady butts.
It's like they're saying "You like big asses? I can help you get your very own giant ass!"

Source.

Dammit Evan!

You beat me to it. I was gonna make a post about how I would make the imaginary sandwich not imaginary, but I guess I didn't jump the gun fast enough. Probably because the nearest KFC to my house is like a 15-20 minute drive away, and that's effort. And gas money to pile onto that high cost of KFC.

Still, against my better judgement, I will probably partake on this endeavor at some point.

Epic Quest: The Skinwich

Today my girlfriend let me know that I would be on my own for dinner. She would be gone, meaning I could eat WHATEVER I WANTED. This was a mistake.

I decided I wanted to have a Skinwich.

Sure, it's fake. KFC doesn't really serve the Skinwich, and for good reason. It could very well kill a man. But they do sell other food items containing all the ingredients. This was my in. If they wouldn't sell me one, I'd just make one on my own.

So I hatched a plan. I'd buy a "Doublicious Burger" for the bun, cheese, and bacon. And I'd buy 4 chicken breasts to pull the skin off of. This posed two problems:

1) KFC is expensive, and the whole experiment cost me upwards of 15 dollars.
2) It also, however yielded far more food than I anticipated. If you attempt this, be sure to have a friend ride in the car with you when you go to the store, lest you get some judgemental looks from the employees.
The "Doublicious" did not yield as much cheese or bacon as I had hoped, but we were past the point of no return, as I certainly wasn't about to drive all the way back to KFC to spend MORE money. It's basically a single layer of cheese, a single layer of bacon, and a single piece of chicken. The only thing "double" is the buns, and two is the generally accepted minimum amount of buns a sandwich should have.
I had selected breasts because I assumed I would be able to peel off a big piece of skin, but that didn't turn out to be the case, either. It kind of flaked off in rather small chunks which I stacked up in a pile. If I were to do this again, I'd choose a cheaper piece of chicken, since it all will turn out the same. Two breasts worth on this pile.
I then pulled the chicken off the bun, because hey, this is a SKIN-ONLY sandwich. Unfortunately, some of the cheese (which was already at a premium) had melted to the chicken, so that piece also had to be skinned.
I then piled yet another breast's worth of skins onto the bun.
Then I put the two halves together and voila! Skinwich.
And yes, I actually ate it. In front of a mirror, so there would be proof.

But here's the real surprise: IT WAS SUPER TASTY. I ate the whole thing, and then ate much of the leftover bits and had myself a tasty good time. It was better than the sum of its parts. I know the whole thing was just a joke, but they joked their way into a tasty sandwich.

Would I do it again? Probably not. It required a larger investment of both effort and money than I had hoped, and while it was probably better than anything else on the menu, not by enough to justify the cost. Probably.

Although, I'm going to say it here (and you should take this as a personal challenge): the Skinwich is worth eating at least once.

Just don't eat two, or your heart will explode.

I have two announcements.

1) The KFC closest to my work does not have the skinwich.

2) It's because the whole thing was a hoax.

Damn you, Matt!

I guess I'm going to KFC for lunch.

If you thought the Double Down was bad...

KFC, which announced the idea of the Double Down on April Fool's Day and actually went through with it, has another new product that they are releasing: The Skinwitch. For those times that you want KFC and yet you'd rather have bacon than chicken. It may be a bit hard to tell from the picture, but basically you have layers of KFC-style chicken skin layered with cheese and bacon. Now that fried outer crust on the chicken is good, but I don't know about you, but I'd like to have some of that chicken, too.

But regardless, I will probably have to go and try one anyway and accelerate that heart attack that's going to happen someday.

In Blackjack you could double your money

...But in a KFC, a Double Down could double your chance for a heart attack. Above is a (pretty crappy) picture of a half-eaten Double Down sandwich they started selling. It was one of those things that they revealed on April 1, but then we found out it wasn't a joke. Of course, I had to try one. It required finding our way to the KFC Taco Bell in the next town over, which was a pain in the ass because Moscow sucks and doesn't have coherent roads.

So it's 2 pieces of boneless chicken acting as the bun and containing 2 pieces of bacon, 2 pieces of cheese, and ?? of mayo (I don't even know if it WAS mayo). Don't get me wrong, it was good... but the taste of the KFC chicken overpowered everything else. Honestly, if you were to just slap 2 pieces of chicken together and ate it, that's probably going to have the same taste as this, just fewer chances for heart attacks. Oh, and it was like $5. So you could have gotten 5 snackers instead of this, or 5 tacos.

Consensus: It's alright, but I probably wouldn't have got it if it weren't for content on a blog that's partially about eating. But, if you have $5, a KFC around and are immune to heart attacks, I guess it couldn't hurt to try.

Wait, who?

On the way home from class, Jason and I were having a conversation about his experimenting with Linux. The conversation went something like this:

J: "I need to take a look at the Kernel later."
M: "But the Colonel is dead!"
J: "But his music lives on."
M: "...what?"
J: "His music lives on.... oh, that Colonel. His chicken will live on, and die and be eaten by me."
M: "...which Colonel were you referring to before?"
J: "It's not important."
M: "But now I must know."
J: "... I'll find one."
M: "You know Evan is gonna give you crap about this, right?"
J: "Yeah..."

Haha Jason... you need to eat.

Picture nonexistent.