First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube or on services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 2: The Daleks
Part 2: The Survivors (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: Doctor Who and his granddaughter Susan accidentally kidnap two of her teachers, Ian and Barbara, and take them on a trip through time. Intent on investigating an abandoned city, the Doctor sabotages the ship, stating that the ship's mercury fuel could be found in the city. While searching the city, they split up, and Barbara is attacked by a plunger.
While looking for Barbara, the gang find a room with a bunch of monitoring equipment, including a radiation-meter that, like the one on the ship, is reading "über-death".
The doctor then reasons that they probably shouldn't be out in the incredibly toxic planet and decides to head back to the ship and travel to a time that has medicine for radiation. At this point, Ian reminds him that the ship is busted. Then the doctor admits that the TARDIS is fine, he was just lying and throwing a tantrum to get his way. To prove this, he hands Ian the perfectly functional fluid core.
Last episode I thought he had actually damaged the ship, but it turns out he only pretend damaged it. This makes much more sense.
The doctor then continues his "I'm going to do whatever I want" attitude by saying that he and Susan are going to leave the planet. He then gives Ian the choice of coming with them in the TARDIS to get medicine or staying on the radioactive planet forever. Ian, however, is concerned with someone other than just himself and refuses to leave without Barbara, and points out that he is in possession of the fluid core that powers the ship.
The doctor's pleas of "Gimme that so I can strand you here forever!" don't have an effect, so they all leave in search of Barbara.
Or rather, they would have searched for Barbara, but the moment they open the door, they are ambushed by Daleks. Doctor Who and Susan are terrified by the plunger appendages and immediately surrender, but Ian attempts to run away. Unfortunately for him, the non-plunger arm is a paralyzing ray.
All the companions are held in the same room. And this time there isn't an old crazy caveman lady to free them, although the room is less skully this time.
The Daleks summon the doctor so they can give him some backstory. Apparently the Daleks are at war with a species called the Thals, who look human enough that the Daleks assumed that the companions are Thals. However, the Thals are immune to radiation and the companions are not, and this is becoming fairly obvious, as everyone has suddenly started to look pretty sick. The doctor then remembers the medicine that was left outside their ship and convinces the Daleks to let one of the group go to get it. The ship has safeguards against anyone but Susan or Dr. Who, and the doctor pretends to be asleep so Susan has to go.
The Daleks have an impromptu evil mastermind meeting where they reveal that they have no intention of actually letting the group USE the medicine, they just want them all to have false hope before they die.
Susan runs back to the ship, and there's about two minutes of footage just of her running, which is pretty hilarious, because she's TERRIBLE at it. Girl could not run in a straight line to save her life. Eventually, she makes it to the ship, finds the medicine. Then, in a cliffhanger ending, she leaves the ship normally.
That's it for Serial 2, Episode 2! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 2 - The Daleks; Part 1 - The Dead Planet
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 4 - The Firemaker
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Showing posts with label i don't know i'm not a doctor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i don't know i'm not a doctor. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor delayed until Tuesday
Today's regularly scheduled "I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor" will run tomorrow due to the Valentine's Day YNTE Horror Night Special.
This is a public service so your heads don't explode from awesome overload. You're welcome.
This is a public service so your heads don't explode from awesome overload. You're welcome.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Serial 2 - The Daleks; Part 1 - The Dead Planet
First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube or on services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 2: The Daleks
Part 1: The Dead Planet (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: Doctor Who and his granddaughter Susan accidentally kidnap two of her teachers, Ian and Barbara, and take them back in time. In the past, their time machine, the TARDIS, malfunctions, leaving them unsure if they will ever be able to return to their own time. After a blind jump to an unknown point in space and time, the Doctor suggests they all "freshen up" before going outside, but first asks Susan to check the radiation levels, which are fine, until she looks away and they jump to MAXIMUM DEATH.
Oh, my god. SO MUCH to cover this week. I'm excited!
First of all, when the Doctor suggested they all "freshen up", what that meant is that they are all wearing new clothes now. Ian is wearing a Mister Rodgers sweater. Susan is wearing a shirt with a tiny collar all the way up her neck. Barbara is wearing a low cut shirt with a GIANT collar. Doctor Who is wearing a new set of the exact same clothes.
The mysterious thing here isn't what they're wearing, but where these clothes came from. You can maybe assume that Susan has a closet full of shirts with various sizes of collar, but it's been demonstrated that Doctor Who only has one style of clothes (like Monk!). And this is of course assuming that the kidnapped teachers wear the same size as the doctor and Susan, which is clearly not the case.
You can then draw one of three conclusions:
It turns out that everything around here is dead and petrified. They wander about for a bit but don't discover anything anything. They're all set to head back to the ship and leave when Ian sees a large city off in the distance. The Doctor then goes on another of his selfish benders and decides he WILL study the city, completely ignoring the protests of all his traveling companions.
They all agree it would be too dangerous to explore the site then and there though so they head back to the ship to wait until morning. On the way back, somebody touches Susan. The adults handle this child groping by telling Susan she's crazy and made it up.
Then they all take a snack break! Apparently in the future, Science has discovered that all food is comprised of two base flavors. Depending on how you combine these two flavors, you can create food that tastes like anything. Conveniently, the TARDIS has one of these machines on board, and by twisting two knobs to various settings, it spits out a paste that tastes like bacon and eggs. Unless the two "primary flavors" are "bacon" and "eggs", then I don't really see this as plausible, but it's an interesting idea. Honestly, this was my favorite part of the episode, and at this point I don't care if they ever leave the ship again.
They hear some banging on the outside of the ship and come to the conclusion that there may actually be life on this planet, so they decide to leave as quickly as possible. But the doctor still has his heart set on visiting the city so he SABOTAGES HIS OWN SHIP. The ship's drive runs on liquid Mercury, so he empties it out so they will be forced to go into the city and find some.
Needless to say, this is quite the gamble. If my life depended on my finding liquid Mercury here in Tacoma, I'm not sure I could. And this is a planet where I know liquid Mercury actually exists! And there are live people to help me! But apparently for Doctor Who, always getting what he wants is far more important than not being stranded forever on a radioactive planet.
As they leave the ship the next morning, they discover a metal box. Presuming it to be a bomb, they take the proper precautions and poke it with a stick from 2 feet away. Ian at least has the good sense to put one hand in front of his face, while the others just stand in the blast range unprotected. Here's a travel tip: when you find yourself in a petrified forest, and one of your friends is going to poke what you assume is a bomb, hide behind a rock, which is pretty much ANYTHING AROUND YOU. Luckily for them all, it isn't a bomb, but a container of vials of fluid which they ignore and continue on.
When they arrive in the city the next day, they decide to split the party up, which is always a great idea. Unfortunately, Barbara, who went off by herself, doesn't meet back up with the group, because she's attacked by what seems to be a giant toilet plunger.
No, seriously:
That's it for Serial 2, Episode 1! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 4 - The Firemaker
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 2: The Daleks
Part 1: The Dead Planet (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: Doctor Who and his granddaughter Susan accidentally kidnap two of her teachers, Ian and Barbara, and take them back in time. In the past, their time machine, the TARDIS, malfunctions, leaving them unsure if they will ever be able to return to their own time. After a blind jump to an unknown point in space and time, the Doctor suggests they all "freshen up" before going outside, but first asks Susan to check the radiation levels, which are fine, until she looks away and they jump to MAXIMUM DEATH.
Oh, my god. SO MUCH to cover this week. I'm excited!
First of all, when the Doctor suggested they all "freshen up", what that meant is that they are all wearing new clothes now. Ian is wearing a Mister Rodgers sweater. Susan is wearing a shirt with a tiny collar all the way up her neck. Barbara is wearing a low cut shirt with a GIANT collar. Doctor Who is wearing a new set of the exact same clothes.
The mysterious thing here isn't what they're wearing, but where these clothes came from. You can maybe assume that Susan has a closet full of shirts with various sizes of collar, but it's been demonstrated that Doctor Who only has one style of clothes (like Monk!). And this is of course assuming that the kidnapped teachers wear the same size as the doctor and Susan, which is clearly not the case.
You can then draw one of three conclusions:
- They have a machine that creates clothes out of thin air in whatever sizes you want
- They have a massive warehouse full of clothes of all sizes within the TARDIS.
- The kidnapping was not accidental, but premeditated, and the Doctor stocked up on clothes in the teachers' sizes.
It turns out that everything around here is dead and petrified. They wander about for a bit but don't discover anything anything. They're all set to head back to the ship and leave when Ian sees a large city off in the distance. The Doctor then goes on another of his selfish benders and decides he WILL study the city, completely ignoring the protests of all his traveling companions.
They all agree it would be too dangerous to explore the site then and there though so they head back to the ship to wait until morning. On the way back, somebody touches Susan. The adults handle this child groping by telling Susan she's crazy and made it up.
Then they all take a snack break! Apparently in the future, Science has discovered that all food is comprised of two base flavors. Depending on how you combine these two flavors, you can create food that tastes like anything. Conveniently, the TARDIS has one of these machines on board, and by twisting two knobs to various settings, it spits out a paste that tastes like bacon and eggs. Unless the two "primary flavors" are "bacon" and "eggs", then I don't really see this as plausible, but it's an interesting idea. Honestly, this was my favorite part of the episode, and at this point I don't care if they ever leave the ship again.
They hear some banging on the outside of the ship and come to the conclusion that there may actually be life on this planet, so they decide to leave as quickly as possible. But the doctor still has his heart set on visiting the city so he SABOTAGES HIS OWN SHIP. The ship's drive runs on liquid Mercury, so he empties it out so they will be forced to go into the city and find some.
Needless to say, this is quite the gamble. If my life depended on my finding liquid Mercury here in Tacoma, I'm not sure I could. And this is a planet where I know liquid Mercury actually exists! And there are live people to help me! But apparently for Doctor Who, always getting what he wants is far more important than not being stranded forever on a radioactive planet.
As they leave the ship the next morning, they discover a metal box. Presuming it to be a bomb, they take the proper precautions and poke it with a stick from 2 feet away. Ian at least has the good sense to put one hand in front of his face, while the others just stand in the blast range unprotected. Here's a travel tip: when you find yourself in a petrified forest, and one of your friends is going to poke what you assume is a bomb, hide behind a rock, which is pretty much ANYTHING AROUND YOU. Luckily for them all, it isn't a bomb, but a container of vials of fluid which they ignore and continue on.
When they arrive in the city the next day, they decide to split the party up, which is always a great idea. Unfortunately, Barbara, who went off by herself, doesn't meet back up with the group, because she's attacked by what seems to be a giant toilet plunger.
No, seriously:
That's it for Serial 2, Episode 1! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 4 - The Firemaker
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Monday, January 31, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 4 - The Firemaker
First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube or on services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 4: The Firemaker (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: The doctor and his inappropriately young female companion have traveled back in time to caveman days with two unsuspecting teachers. The cavemen are in a battle over which useless twat will be the leader of the tribe, Za, the idiot son of the former leader, or Kal, the last surviving member of another tribe. It's generally accepted that whichever of the two gets fire will rule the tribe. Za captures the companions to get them to make fire, but they escape and then inexplicably team-up with him. The whole group gets recaptured by Kal, who has just murdered an old lady and framed Za for it.
Ka's frame-up job is believed by pretty much everyone blindly, but once the doctor shows even the slightest amount of scrutiny to it, the whole thing falls apart. He points out that Za's knife, which supposedly just stabbed a lady to death, has no blood on it. He then begins to compliment what an awesome knife it is (it's a rock). Kal decides he'd rather be known as a murderer than someone with a subpar kniferock, so he busts out the murder weapon to show just how effective it can be. The companions, who just last episode were so kind as to stop and help Za out of "kindness" now incite the tribe to stone Kal.
Za thanks the companions for reasserting his leadership for him the only way he knows how - by RE-recapturing and putting them back into the Cave of Skulls. And, despite the fact that these people escaped from this very cave earlier that same day, they aren't bound or restrained in any way, leaving them completely free to re-escape.
They don't re-escape though. They decide that since the tribe had treated them so well thus far to do the tribe a solid and make fire for them anyway; and when i say "they" make fire, I mean Ian does all the work while the women sit nearby "helping" while the doctor pouts in a corner refusing to be any part of it.
Za enters the cave and once again flip-flops on his relationship with them, even going so far as to HILARIOUSLY confuse that Ian's name is "Friend". Get it? It's funny because... well I'm sure it's funny somehow.
Then Kal breaks into the cave, and, in a fight that looks more like the first day of junior high wrestling practice than a deathmatch, gets killed by Za.
Za continues to not let them leave though, so they devise an escape plan. The pick up some skulls from the cave floor, mount them on torches, and set these up around the campfire, assuming of course that the cavemen will mistake skulltorches for dead bodies. Then they sneak out somehow.
Despite this being probably the worst plan I have EVER heard, it totally works somehow. The cavemen cry over the flaming, bodiless corpses, and the gang sneaks away. The cavemen remain enthralled until one of the skulltorches falls over and the illusion is ruined. A vertical torch with a skull on it totally looks like a human corpse, but horizontal? Don't be ridiculous.
The cavemen chase after the group, but the group reaches the TARDIS in time and makes a blind jump. They can't just go back to 1963 because A) the TARDIS is malfunctioning, and B) the doctor's a dick. The land in some weird swampy area, which I'm sure we'll learn where and when they are next week. The doctor asks Susan to check the radiation levels, which are fine, until she looks away and they jump to MAXIMUM DEATH.
That's it for Episode 4, and with it Serial 1! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 4: The Firemaker (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: The doctor and his inappropriately young female companion have traveled back in time to caveman days with two unsuspecting teachers. The cavemen are in a battle over which useless twat will be the leader of the tribe, Za, the idiot son of the former leader, or Kal, the last surviving member of another tribe. It's generally accepted that whichever of the two gets fire will rule the tribe. Za captures the companions to get them to make fire, but they escape and then inexplicably team-up with him. The whole group gets recaptured by Kal, who has just murdered an old lady and framed Za for it.
Ka's frame-up job is believed by pretty much everyone blindly, but once the doctor shows even the slightest amount of scrutiny to it, the whole thing falls apart. He points out that Za's knife, which supposedly just stabbed a lady to death, has no blood on it. He then begins to compliment what an awesome knife it is (it's a rock). Kal decides he'd rather be known as a murderer than someone with a subpar kniferock, so he busts out the murder weapon to show just how effective it can be. The companions, who just last episode were so kind as to stop and help Za out of "kindness" now incite the tribe to stone Kal.
Za thanks the companions for reasserting his leadership for him the only way he knows how - by RE-recapturing and putting them back into the Cave of Skulls. And, despite the fact that these people escaped from this very cave earlier that same day, they aren't bound or restrained in any way, leaving them completely free to re-escape.
They don't re-escape though. They decide that since the tribe had treated them so well thus far to do the tribe a solid and make fire for them anyway; and when i say "they" make fire, I mean Ian does all the work while the women sit nearby "helping" while the doctor pouts in a corner refusing to be any part of it.
Za enters the cave and once again flip-flops on his relationship with them, even going so far as to HILARIOUSLY confuse that Ian's name is "Friend". Get it? It's funny because... well I'm sure it's funny somehow.
Then Kal breaks into the cave, and, in a fight that looks more like the first day of junior high wrestling practice than a deathmatch, gets killed by Za.
Za continues to not let them leave though, so they devise an escape plan. The pick up some skulls from the cave floor, mount them on torches, and set these up around the campfire, assuming of course that the cavemen will mistake skulltorches for dead bodies. Then they sneak out somehow.
Despite this being probably the worst plan I have EVER heard, it totally works somehow. The cavemen cry over the flaming, bodiless corpses, and the gang sneaks away. The cavemen remain enthralled until one of the skulltorches falls over and the illusion is ruined. A vertical torch with a skull on it totally looks like a human corpse, but horizontal? Don't be ridiculous.
The cavemen chase after the group, but the group reaches the TARDIS in time and makes a blind jump. They can't just go back to 1963 because A) the TARDIS is malfunctioning, and B) the doctor's a dick. The land in some weird swampy area, which I'm sure we'll learn where and when they are next week. The doctor asks Susan to check the radiation levels, which are fine, until she looks away and they jump to MAXIMUM DEATH.
That's it for Episode 4, and with it Serial 1! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Monday, January 24, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube or on services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 3: The Forest of Fear (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
You may recall from last week, that our time travelers have been trapped in a cave by mean cavemen who want to crack their skulls open. If you don't recall that, they remind you at the top of the episode with repeated footage from last week.
The time travelers of course attempt feverishly to escape, except Dr. Who, who just sits there and whines about how they're all doomed. When they finally convince him to shut up and help he returns to his old douchey self, this time lecturing the adults on HOPE, something he had none of mere seconds before.
Za (the useless leader of the cavemen) wakes up and realizes the old crazy lady is off to kill the travelers. Even though killing them was his plan, he wants everyone else to be as useless as him so he decides to take action to stop this. He then hits his ladyfriend to prove his point. Multiple times.
It turns out though, that the old lady isn't trying to kill them after all. She sets the companions free on one condition: that they leave without giving the cavemen (who had just decided to murder them) fire. Since this was pretty much their plan all along, they agree and cheese it out the cave.
Za then busts in the cave, and is furious that the people he just decided not to murder weren't murdered. He takes out his aggression by beating up the old lady and then monologuing while she moans in pain on the floor. Apparently earlier when I called him useless, I was wrong. He's useless at everything BUT brutality toward women. At least he has his specialty!
As the gang flees the cave, the Doctor chastises the others, both for marching him too hard since he is a weak old man, and for treating him as though he is weaker than the others. Then there are "scary" animal sounds. Barbara (the lady teacher) sees a dead animal and screams in terror.
Za, hears the scream of a woman and chases after her, presumably because he wants to beat her up. Unfortunately, the animal noises attack him. At least, I'm assuming they attack him, since all the action happens offscreen. It may have been a mating ritual.
Now, if I were being chased by a caveman who may or may not want to murder me and beat up my women, and he was attacked by sound incarnate, I would count that as a good thing and keep going onward to my imminent escape. That would be the logical thing to do. So of course, instead, they do something inexplicable and batshit crazy. The go back to the caveman and attempt to nurse him back to health.
(fun side note: blogger is telling me I misspelled "batshit" because it's not in its internal dictionary. I left it in because "guano crazy" just didn't have the same ring to it.)
The doctor begins complaining, this time with good reason since there's no logical explanation as to why they should be doing what they are. He stubbornly refuses to help, even uttering the phrase "I'm not a doctor" at one point. CLASSIC.
Since they are ignoring the obvious threat right in front of them, they need something else to worry about, something insane. So they decide to worry about the crazy old lady, the one who helped them escape because she just wanted them to leave; the one unconscious on a cave floor. They worry that she will wake up and bring the tribe out to capture them all. When confronted about the logic of these fears Doctor Who explains that cavemen don't have logic or reason, which actually explains a lot of what has gone on so far.
Also, the doctor, in a tantrum that nobody is listening to him, decides that killing Za is the best way to prove his point, even though Za is friendly at this point. He picks up a sharp rock, makes a not at all subtle stabbing motion, and when he gets caught blatantly attempting to kill a dude, plays it off like nothing happend. This is generally accepted by the group and he goes back to sulking.
Sadly, their worst fears have come true. The old lady tells Kal (Za's rival) everything she knows so he can go capture them. Then, because he wants to prove he's better than Za at everything, decides to not just beat her, but kill her. He pins the whole thing on Za and elects himself leader of the tribe. Then, using a magic shortcut, Kal and the other cavemen arrive at the T.A.R.D.I.S. before the protagonists. Kal has them captured and then makes a mean face.
That's what is so compelling about this show so far. It keeps you guessing! Any thing that could happen, and logically would, doesn't and something you would have never thought of because it makes no sense at all happens instead! It's so exciting!
That's it for episode 3! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Episode 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Episode 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 3: The Forest of Fear (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
You may recall from last week, that our time travelers have been trapped in a cave by mean cavemen who want to crack their skulls open. If you don't recall that, they remind you at the top of the episode with repeated footage from last week.
The time travelers of course attempt feverishly to escape, except Dr. Who, who just sits there and whines about how they're all doomed. When they finally convince him to shut up and help he returns to his old douchey self, this time lecturing the adults on HOPE, something he had none of mere seconds before.
Za (the useless leader of the cavemen) wakes up and realizes the old crazy lady is off to kill the travelers. Even though killing them was his plan, he wants everyone else to be as useless as him so he decides to take action to stop this. He then hits his ladyfriend to prove his point. Multiple times.
It turns out though, that the old lady isn't trying to kill them after all. She sets the companions free on one condition: that they leave without giving the cavemen (who had just decided to murder them) fire. Since this was pretty much their plan all along, they agree and cheese it out the cave.
Za then busts in the cave, and is furious that the people he just decided not to murder weren't murdered. He takes out his aggression by beating up the old lady and then monologuing while she moans in pain on the floor. Apparently earlier when I called him useless, I was wrong. He's useless at everything BUT brutality toward women. At least he has his specialty!
As the gang flees the cave, the Doctor chastises the others, both for marching him too hard since he is a weak old man, and for treating him as though he is weaker than the others. Then there are "scary" animal sounds. Barbara (the lady teacher) sees a dead animal and screams in terror.
Za, hears the scream of a woman and chases after her, presumably because he wants to beat her up. Unfortunately, the animal noises attack him. At least, I'm assuming they attack him, since all the action happens offscreen. It may have been a mating ritual.
Now, if I were being chased by a caveman who may or may not want to murder me and beat up my women, and he was attacked by sound incarnate, I would count that as a good thing and keep going onward to my imminent escape. That would be the logical thing to do. So of course, instead, they do something inexplicable and batshit crazy. The go back to the caveman and attempt to nurse him back to health.
(fun side note: blogger is telling me I misspelled "batshit" because it's not in its internal dictionary. I left it in because "guano crazy" just didn't have the same ring to it.)
The doctor begins complaining, this time with good reason since there's no logical explanation as to why they should be doing what they are. He stubbornly refuses to help, even uttering the phrase "I'm not a doctor" at one point. CLASSIC.
Since they are ignoring the obvious threat right in front of them, they need something else to worry about, something insane. So they decide to worry about the crazy old lady, the one who helped them escape because she just wanted them to leave; the one unconscious on a cave floor. They worry that she will wake up and bring the tribe out to capture them all. When confronted about the logic of these fears Doctor Who explains that cavemen don't have logic or reason, which actually explains a lot of what has gone on so far.
Also, the doctor, in a tantrum that nobody is listening to him, decides that killing Za is the best way to prove his point, even though Za is friendly at this point. He picks up a sharp rock, makes a not at all subtle stabbing motion, and when he gets caught blatantly attempting to kill a dude, plays it off like nothing happend. This is generally accepted by the group and he goes back to sulking.
Sadly, their worst fears have come true. The old lady tells Kal (Za's rival) everything she knows so he can go capture them. Then, because he wants to prove he's better than Za at everything, decides to not just beat her, but kill her. He pins the whole thing on Za and elects himself leader of the tribe. Then, using a magic shortcut, Kal and the other cavemen arrive at the T.A.R.D.I.S. before the protagonists. Kal has them captured and then makes a mean face.
That's what is so compelling about this show so far. It keeps you guessing! Any thing that could happen, and logically would, doesn't and something you would have never thought of because it makes no sense at all happens instead! It's so exciting!
That's it for episode 3! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Episode 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Episode 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Monday, January 17, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube or on services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 2: The Cave of Skulls (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Now that the series' four main characters (the doctor, annoying girl, man teacher and lady teacher - they all have names, but I have already forgotten them) have been introduced, and some conflict has been set up amongst them, and the audience is beginning to become interested in them, the show does the only logical thing it could do at this point: it ignores them almost entirely to focus instead on caveman politics.
You see, Za (it's a bit of a sad commentary that I remember the cavemen's names, but not the protagonists', but mainly its the annoying bit that the cavemen talk only in 3rd person) is the current leader. He is the son of the former leader, who was able to hunt and make fires. Za can't make fire, and wastes all his time attempting in vain to start one (by rubbing his hands against a bone). There's another dude, Kal, who is an outcast from another tribe, who is consistently hunting and bringing the tribe food. Some people want to make Kal the leader since he actually does shit for them, but Za insists that "the firemaker is the leader" despite the fact that he cannot actually make fire, or do anything else useful.
Upping the ante is an old man who will whore out his presumably desirable daughter to the leader. She seems to like Za, despite him being fucking USELESS. There's also a crazy lady who's convinced fire will kill them all and they should freeze to death instead.
I only go into this much detail about the caveman politics because the show spends most of an episode setting this up, so it MUST be important.
In one of the rare moments where we actually get to see the series regulars, the doctor splits off by himself to have a smoke, when he is immediately captured by Kal who sees him light a match and is convinced that the doctor has "fire hands". Kal brings the doctor back to camp. There's some more arguing over who should be leader, since Kal is now clearly much more suited to be.
The doctor's companions then stage the most poorly planned rescue attempt ever. I'm assuming it was poorly planned, there wasn't time to show the planning amongst all the caveman politics. But unless their plan was "get captured immediately", it was at the very least poorly executed.
Za decides, in his first real act of true leadership, to swallow his pride and allow these strangers to show him how to make fire, for the good of the tribe. JUST KIDDING! He orders them to be killed, but not right away. Much better to tie them up in a cave and go to bed. Nothing wrong with that plan!
They spend the last 10 seconds of the episode in the titular Cave of Skulls. To drive the point home, somebody's like "Hey look, some skulls! From DEAD PEOPLE."
That's it for episode 2! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Episode 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 2: The Cave of Skulls (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Now that the series' four main characters (the doctor, annoying girl, man teacher and lady teacher - they all have names, but I have already forgotten them) have been introduced, and some conflict has been set up amongst them, and the audience is beginning to become interested in them, the show does the only logical thing it could do at this point: it ignores them almost entirely to focus instead on caveman politics.
You see, Za (it's a bit of a sad commentary that I remember the cavemen's names, but not the protagonists', but mainly its the annoying bit that the cavemen talk only in 3rd person) is the current leader. He is the son of the former leader, who was able to hunt and make fires. Za can't make fire, and wastes all his time attempting in vain to start one (by rubbing his hands against a bone). There's another dude, Kal, who is an outcast from another tribe, who is consistently hunting and bringing the tribe food. Some people want to make Kal the leader since he actually does shit for them, but Za insists that "the firemaker is the leader" despite the fact that he cannot actually make fire, or do anything else useful.
Upping the ante is an old man who will whore out his presumably desirable daughter to the leader. She seems to like Za, despite him being fucking USELESS. There's also a crazy lady who's convinced fire will kill them all and they should freeze to death instead.
I only go into this much detail about the caveman politics because the show spends most of an episode setting this up, so it MUST be important.
In one of the rare moments where we actually get to see the series regulars, the doctor splits off by himself to have a smoke, when he is immediately captured by Kal who sees him light a match and is convinced that the doctor has "fire hands". Kal brings the doctor back to camp. There's some more arguing over who should be leader, since Kal is now clearly much more suited to be.
The doctor's companions then stage the most poorly planned rescue attempt ever. I'm assuming it was poorly planned, there wasn't time to show the planning amongst all the caveman politics. But unless their plan was "get captured immediately", it was at the very least poorly executed.
Za decides, in his first real act of true leadership, to swallow his pride and allow these strangers to show him how to make fire, for the good of the tribe. JUST KIDDING! He orders them to be killed, but not right away. Much better to tie them up in a cave and go to bed. Nothing wrong with that plan!
They spend the last 10 seconds of the episode in the titular Cave of Skulls. To drive the point home, somebody's like "Hey look, some skulls! From DEAD PEOPLE."
That's it for episode 2! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Episode 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Monday, January 10, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube (see below), in addition to services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 1: An Unearthly Child (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
One of the problems with reviewing old TV and movies is that what constituted compelling watching back then and what constitutes compelling watching now has changed. One of the main things that suffers from the change is pacing. Modern tv and film tend to get a lot more information conveyed much quicker than their older counterparts. However, "the classics" manage to stay relevant despite their slower pacing. Lets see how Doctor Who holds up:
They have, inexplicably, decided to start their program with literally TWO MINUTES of zooming in on a phone booth. I honestly can't imagine this was EVER compelling tv, and it certainly isn't now.
Luckily, after the two minute slow jam phone booth oogling, the show gets markedly better. Two teachers discuss a student who is inexplicably good at both science and history, as though she can travel through time. The only questions she ever gets wrong are ones where the answer will be different in the future, for example, the character in the show correctly predicts that Brittish currency will be on the decimal system in the future, and shortly after the show aired, they switched.
The teachers of course pick up on none of the not-at-all-subtle clues that this girl is a time traveller, and then proceed to do what any concerned teachers would do. They stalk her. They follow her to her home, which happens to be a junkyard.
It's at this point, halfway through the episode, that we first meet the titular doctor. Normally I'd begrudge a show for waiting so long without showing the protagonist, but in this case it makes sense because the doctor is kind of a dick. He spends the whole time berating and demeaning anyone who doesn't blindly believe in time travel. The teachers (rightfully so) believe that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, but apparently the doctor does not and treats them like disobedient 5 year olds.
Eventually the teachers decide the Doctor is a crazy person who is wholly unfit to be raising a child and decide to leave with the girl, however, before they can leave, the doctor, in a fit of douchery, zaps them all back in time. To CAVEMAN TIME.
That's it for the first episode! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Introduction
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 1: An Unearthly Child
Part 1: An Unearthly Child (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
One of the problems with reviewing old TV and movies is that what constituted compelling watching back then and what constitutes compelling watching now has changed. One of the main things that suffers from the change is pacing. Modern tv and film tend to get a lot more information conveyed much quicker than their older counterparts. However, "the classics" manage to stay relevant despite their slower pacing. Lets see how Doctor Who holds up:
They have, inexplicably, decided to start their program with literally TWO MINUTES of zooming in on a phone booth. I honestly can't imagine this was EVER compelling tv, and it certainly isn't now.
Luckily, after the two minute slow jam phone booth oogling, the show gets markedly better. Two teachers discuss a student who is inexplicably good at both science and history, as though she can travel through time. The only questions she ever gets wrong are ones where the answer will be different in the future, for example, the character in the show correctly predicts that Brittish currency will be on the decimal system in the future, and shortly after the show aired, they switched.
The teachers of course pick up on none of the not-at-all-subtle clues that this girl is a time traveller, and then proceed to do what any concerned teachers would do. They stalk her. They follow her to her home, which happens to be a junkyard.
It's at this point, halfway through the episode, that we first meet the titular doctor. Normally I'd begrudge a show for waiting so long without showing the protagonist, but in this case it makes sense because the doctor is kind of a dick. He spends the whole time berating and demeaning anyone who doesn't blindly believe in time travel. The teachers (rightfully so) believe that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, but apparently the doctor does not and treats them like disobedient 5 year olds.
Eventually the teachers decide the Doctor is a crazy person who is wholly unfit to be raising a child and decide to leave with the girl, however, before they can leave, the doctor, in a fit of douchery, zaps them all back in time. To CAVEMAN TIME.
That's it for the first episode! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Introduction
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Introduction
Welcome to a brand new series here on YNTE! 2011 is already bringing new things!Perhaps it was an article on SLOG where the writer admitted her shortcomings in the Nerd-Cred department and resolved to improve in one particular area.
Perhaps it was that Joel Watson has finally started watching Dr. Who.
Or perhaps it was that David Tennant just got engaged to the girl who played his daughter on the show.
But one way or another, I've had Doctor Who on the mind for the past few days, and I will be the first to admit that I have never seen an episode.
That is about to change.
Starting this weekend, I will watch Doctor Who, starting not with the current season, not with the David Tennant stuff people are so in to, not even at the 2005 relaunch. I'm going to start at the beginning: 1963. As I watch, I will update the site with my (characteristically snarky) reviews of the episodes. This will continue until I am caught up or lose interest entirely (probably the latter).
So stay tuned! First episode soon!
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