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Showing posts with label star wars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star wars. Show all posts

Monday, December 14, 2009

Which is worse?


Alright, so me, my brother, and my friend Kyle just sat through both of these movies, and I need an opinion--which is worse, "The Man Who Saved the World" (a.k.a. Turkish Star Wars) or the Star Wars Holiday Special? The horribly pirated and not even remotely close to Star Wars film created by Turkey, or the Holiday Special about "Life Day" that has nothing to do with anything and has too many Wookies created by CVS? Here's a quick rundown:

Turkish Star Wars
Drawbacks
---Pirated Scenes from Star Wars that change nauseatingly fast
---Pirated music, mostly Indiana Jones
---Terrible acting and props and special effects
---A plot that makes no sense
---Terrible Dialogue
---Overly long poorly choreographed fight scenes with too much jumping
Redeeming Qualities
---The fighting is ridiculous and makes everyone laugh/wtf at the same time
---Kicking rocks makes them explode
---That guy just karate chopped both of this guys arms off and stabbed it with them
---That guy just punched through a bunch of dudes
---That guy just kicked through a bunch of dudes
---That guy just ripped some other guys' heads off
---That guy just kicked a dude in half

Star Wars Holiday Special
Drawbacks
---The movie revolves around Chewbacca's Family (abbreviated as Malla, Itchy, and Lumpy)
---The Wookies can't even make proper Wookie sounds except Chewie, and the other characters can't even say Kashyyyk correctly.
---Musical performances at random times by people who we don't remember or care about
---Random nonsensical characters that just pop in at random times
---Mark Hamill is wearing too much makeup
---Everyone acts as if ret... erm, chuckleheaded
---Terrible dialogue (or no dialogue with just the wookies) and poor script
---There is a scene with paper. STAR WARS UNIVERSE DOESN'T HAVE PAPER
Redeeming Qualities
---Pretty ok music
---The old cartoon with Boba Fett was alright.
---That one imperial guard that says "I hate fish."
---You cannot get any of the actors in that movie to acknowledge its existance
---The commercials that played during the special are retro and ridiculous
---The commercials were a nice reprieve from the movie
---A good reason to become intoxicated.

So which is worse?

You decide.

Friday, February 13, 2009

"Around the survivors, a perimeter create."

Yeah, Episode II is pretty terrible as well. Though I managed to finish it in two sittings, not the 4 it took for Ep I.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Episode I sucks.


My past 5 attempts to watch the Star Wars movies have been thwarted by Episode I. My intention has been to watch them I-VI, but I've not even made it to the 1 hour mark in Phantom Menace without deciding I had something better to do.

So this time, I watched 4-6. And I was reminded how good they are. This is really the first time I've seen them as an adult, and they deserve every bit of praise that is given to them. So coming down off Return, I decide to go straight into Phantom Menace; the thought being that my being really excited about Star Wars will make the film more watchable. It has not. Right now it's paused at about the 50 minute mark, and I'm trying to work up the willpower to keep watching.

The sad thing is, I'm anal retentive about this particular thing, so I can't just skip ahead to 2 and 3, as much as I might like to. I've only seen Revenge of the Sith one time, in theaters, and remember it being fairly good. But for some strange reason, I won't allow myself to watch it unless i first watch the Jar Jar Horror-fest.

The sad thing? I used to love this movie when I was a kid. I owned not one, but two copies of it on VHS. I guess this just goes to show that kids are stupid.

Anyway, I'm going back to it. Wish me luck.