The Riddles - SOLVED

...but not by any of you mooks.

1) Michael's snack is bad for the super-thin

The Michael in question here, is Michael from Burn Notice, who fans of the show will know, has a fondness for yogurt.
So what does yogurt, being bad and the super thin reference? A recent xkcd (newest as of the riddle's posting):


2) A very hungry monkey completes the future

The monkey in question is Jimmy, from THE GREATEST WEBCOMIC EVER


But just how hungry is he? Hungry enough to Eat a World?

Jimmy Eat World has an album called Futures, the last track of which is "23":



3) Green, though not my favorite, is often referenced

This one was just a reference to my phone number.

Overall riddle solution: Today is my 23rd birthday.

Really, the whole thing was just an elaborate way for me to say "How could you forget my birthday, Matt? I even reminded you ahead of time!" but then he had to ruin the whole thing by REMEMBERING. WHAT A JERK.

Happy Birthday Evan!

Happy birthday Evan! To commemorate this wonderous occasion, I am giving you a picture of a pizza, but it's actually a cake. I have no idea how it tastes though, I just googled pizza cake and this is what came up. It probably tastes like both.

Also, as an added gift, I am publicly remembering your birthday... in the past!

I haven't missed Evan's birthday once. Nope.

And to prove that I've never missed his birthday once, here's a picture of a pizza with candles in it. Happy Birthday Evan!

I'd Never Forget Evan's Birthday

Happy birthday Evan! Knowing that you like pizza and probably other things, here is an oreo pizza. It can replace your cake.

Pre-blog Birthday

Somehow I seem to have remembered Evan's birthday before this blog even was created. Awesome! Happy birthday!