Hey, everyone!
It's hard to believe it's been almost 4 years since the first YNTE posts went up. Over time we've evolved and expanded, and I'm proud to say we're at a point where it just makes sense to move off of blogger's servers and onto our own.
So, without any further ado, I give you: http://ynteonline.com
New content will no longer be published here, it will be published there instead. All the classic posts and comments have been moved. If you manually visit our site, update your bookmarks to reflect the change, if you read us via RSS, hopefully the same feed will work! (if not, just pull a new feed from the new site!)
Thanks to all of you who for your support; we hope you enjoy the new site!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Name that celebrity - the reveal!
The man pictured in yesterday's Name that Celebrity is none other than Fred Durst, lead singer of Limp Bizkit.
Apparently he has that disease from Jack where he ages 4 times as fast a regular human, which also explains why a lot of Limp Bizkit songs sound like they were written by a five year old.
You may think "I wonder how old he is" and go check wikipedia to see when he was born. Here's what that yielded me:
Don't do drugs, kids.
You may think "I wonder how old he is" and go check wikipedia to see when he was born. Here's what that yielded me:
Don't do drugs, kids.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Name that celebrity!
Guess who this is in the comments! If you get it right I may give you a prize or something.
I'll be back tomorrow with the answer!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor: Serial 2 - The Daleks; Part 2 - The Survivors
First things first, if you want to watch along, the episode I'm reviewing is available from Amazon. Additionally, a lot of these old Doctor Who episodes are available on YouTube or on services such as Netflix. I encourage you to watch along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 2: The Daleks
Part 2: The Survivors (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: Doctor Who and his granddaughter Susan accidentally kidnap two of her teachers, Ian and Barbara, and take them on a trip through time. Intent on investigating an abandoned city, the Doctor sabotages the ship, stating that the ship's mercury fuel could be found in the city. While searching the city, they split up, and Barbara is attacked by a plunger.
While looking for Barbara, the gang find a room with a bunch of monitoring equipment, including a radiation-meter that, like the one on the ship, is reading "über-death".
The doctor then reasons that they probably shouldn't be out in the incredibly toxic planet and decides to head back to the ship and travel to a time that has medicine for radiation. At this point, Ian reminds him that the ship is busted. Then the doctor admits that the TARDIS is fine, he was just lying and throwing a tantrum to get his way. To prove this, he hands Ian the perfectly functional fluid core.
Last episode I thought he had actually damaged the ship, but it turns out he only pretend damaged it. This makes much more sense.
The doctor then continues his "I'm going to do whatever I want" attitude by saying that he and Susan are going to leave the planet. He then gives Ian the choice of coming with them in the TARDIS to get medicine or staying on the radioactive planet forever. Ian, however, is concerned with someone other than just himself and refuses to leave without Barbara, and points out that he is in possession of the fluid core that powers the ship.
The doctor's pleas of "Gimme that so I can strand you here forever!" don't have an effect, so they all leave in search of Barbara.
Or rather, they would have searched for Barbara, but the moment they open the door, they are ambushed by Daleks. Doctor Who and Susan are terrified by the plunger appendages and immediately surrender, but Ian attempts to run away. Unfortunately for him, the non-plunger arm is a paralyzing ray.
All the companions are held in the same room. And this time there isn't an old crazy caveman lady to free them, although the room is less skully this time.
The Daleks summon the doctor so they can give him some backstory. Apparently the Daleks are at war with a species called the Thals, who look human enough that the Daleks assumed that the companions are Thals. However, the Thals are immune to radiation and the companions are not, and this is becoming fairly obvious, as everyone has suddenly started to look pretty sick. The doctor then remembers the medicine that was left outside their ship and convinces the Daleks to let one of the group go to get it. The ship has safeguards against anyone but Susan or Dr. Who, and the doctor pretends to be asleep so Susan has to go.
The Daleks have an impromptu evil mastermind meeting where they reveal that they have no intention of actually letting the group USE the medicine, they just want them all to have false hope before they die.
Susan runs back to the ship, and there's about two minutes of footage just of her running, which is pretty hilarious, because she's TERRIBLE at it. Girl could not run in a straight line to save her life. Eventually, she makes it to the ship, finds the medicine. Then, in a cliffhanger ending, she leaves the ship normally.
That's it for Serial 2, Episode 2! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 2 - The Daleks; Part 1 - The Dead Planet
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 4 - The Firemaker
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Secondly, a big spoiler warning for anything I say after this sentence. I'm not sure if it's still common courtesy to put spoiler warnings on content that is almost 50 years old, but I'm going to air on the side of caution.
Disclaimers out of the way, lets watch some Who!
Serial 2: The Daleks
Part 2: The Survivors (1963)
Starring: Doctor 1 - William Hartnell
Quick recap: Doctor Who and his granddaughter Susan accidentally kidnap two of her teachers, Ian and Barbara, and take them on a trip through time. Intent on investigating an abandoned city, the Doctor sabotages the ship, stating that the ship's mercury fuel could be found in the city. While searching the city, they split up, and Barbara is attacked by a plunger.
While looking for Barbara, the gang find a room with a bunch of monitoring equipment, including a radiation-meter that, like the one on the ship, is reading "über-death".
The doctor then reasons that they probably shouldn't be out in the incredibly toxic planet and decides to head back to the ship and travel to a time that has medicine for radiation. At this point, Ian reminds him that the ship is busted. Then the doctor admits that the TARDIS is fine, he was just lying and throwing a tantrum to get his way. To prove this, he hands Ian the perfectly functional fluid core.
Last episode I thought he had actually damaged the ship, but it turns out he only pretend damaged it. This makes much more sense.
The doctor then continues his "I'm going to do whatever I want" attitude by saying that he and Susan are going to leave the planet. He then gives Ian the choice of coming with them in the TARDIS to get medicine or staying on the radioactive planet forever. Ian, however, is concerned with someone other than just himself and refuses to leave without Barbara, and points out that he is in possession of the fluid core that powers the ship.
The doctor's pleas of "Gimme that so I can strand you here forever!" don't have an effect, so they all leave in search of Barbara.
Or rather, they would have searched for Barbara, but the moment they open the door, they are ambushed by Daleks. Doctor Who and Susan are terrified by the plunger appendages and immediately surrender, but Ian attempts to run away. Unfortunately for him, the non-plunger arm is a paralyzing ray.
All the companions are held in the same room. And this time there isn't an old crazy caveman lady to free them, although the room is less skully this time.
The Daleks summon the doctor so they can give him some backstory. Apparently the Daleks are at war with a species called the Thals, who look human enough that the Daleks assumed that the companions are Thals. However, the Thals are immune to radiation and the companions are not, and this is becoming fairly obvious, as everyone has suddenly started to look pretty sick. The doctor then remembers the medicine that was left outside their ship and convinces the Daleks to let one of the group go to get it. The ship has safeguards against anyone but Susan or Dr. Who, and the doctor pretends to be asleep so Susan has to go.
The Daleks have an impromptu evil mastermind meeting where they reveal that they have no intention of actually letting the group USE the medicine, they just want them all to have false hope before they die.
Susan runs back to the ship, and there's about two minutes of footage just of her running, which is pretty hilarious, because she's TERRIBLE at it. Girl could not run in a straight line to save her life. Eventually, she makes it to the ship, finds the medicine. Then, in a cliffhanger ending, she leaves the ship normally.
That's it for Serial 2, Episode 2! Check back soon for more Who!
Miss one? Check out our previous episodes below:
Serial 2 - The Daleks; Part 1 - The Dead Planet
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 4 - The Firemaker
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 3 - The Forest of Fear
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 2 - The Cave of Skulls
Serial 1 - An Unearthly Child; Part 1 - An Unearthly Child
Introduction
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
Hope everyone has a pleasant day!
YNTE Horror Night Holiday Edition: Valentine
Welcome to a special Valentine's Day edition of YNTE Horror Night! I've decided that for as many major holidays as possible this year, I'll be reviewing the slasher film equivalent. For Valentine's Day, this left me with a choice: 2001's "Valentine" or 1981's "My Bloody Valentine". This time "Valentine" won out because the plot seemed a bit more holiday specific, and a lot more ridiculous. As always, tons of spoilers ahead. You've been warned!
The movie starts off with a bunch of middle-schoolers at a Valentine's day dance. A nerdy kid named Jeremy Melton asks all the pretty girls to dance with him. They all reject him cruelly. He then asks a chubby girl to dance with him and they start making out under the bleachers. When some bullies catch them smoochin', the chubby girl claims he attacked her, everyone starts calling him "pervert", and they make fun of him so hard he gets a nosebleed. The bullies then drag him out to the middle of the dance floor and kick his ass. Apparently chaperons weren't invented yet.
Flash forward 13 years. Katherine Heigl, who you may know from Grey's Anatomy, is stretching her acting legs here by playing a Med School student. After going on a bad date with a man named Jason Marquette, she returns to the morgue to practice surgery-ing on some corpses.
She gets a Valentine's card that says something along the lines of "Happy Valentine's Day, I'm going to stab you", and while the writing of the card leaves something to be desired, this guy should seriously get into the greeting card business because the construction of the card was immaculate. It was like a pop-up card with multiple layers and moving parts. Impressive stuff! The card is signed "JM".
Well, surprise, surprise, a psychotic murderer in a Cupid Mask shows up and kills Katherine Heigl's character, and then has a nosebleed out the mask. That right there should tell you everything you need to know about this movie. It is (at least on the surface) a movie about a nerd who girls were mean to who decides years later to kill them.
Unfortunately, the movie takes a downward turn here, as of the 5 girls, Katherine Heigl's character is the only likeable one. Luckily, most of them wind up dead. One of them gets shot by the killer with a hunting bow. You know, the whole "getting shot by Cupid's arrow" thing. Only instead of falling in love after getting shot, she falls off a balcony. Into a dumpster. But the symbolism's still there.
They come to the conclusion that Jeremy Melton got plastic surgery so he'd look less dorky and is secretly dating one of the girls. This leads to a lot of bitchy fingerpointing. At one point, Fatty McGoo admits that Jeremy didn't really attack her, she just didn't want to get made fun of for being fat. At this point she's thin and pretty and ALSO a cast member on Grey's Anatomy.
Cue the big finale where there's a big party and some people get killed. Denise Richards gets killed in a hot tub by a power drill. (On a side note, I don't understand how she became as popular as she did, she's a pretty terrible actress, then again, I think the only movies I've seen her in are this and Starship Troopers.)
It becomes very apparent at one point (and it has been from the beginning for anyone with half a brain) that the main female's boyfriend Adam (played by David Boreanaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer's 'Angel') is Jeremy. He very creepily asks her to dance again. She gets creeped out and runs away. There's a chase scene, and the killer in the Cupid mask tackles her. Adam pops out and shoots Cupid with a gun he happened to find.
They pull off Cupid's mask to reveal Fatty McGoo, who apparently went on a killing spree because her friends treated her poorly as a fat kid. Adam hugs the main character lady, despite her not liking him as a nerdy kid or an alcoholic adult, and his nose starts to bleed, showing that he's Jeremy Melton after all.
First of all, as both a nerd who girls disliked in junior high, and as a bit of a fatty myself, I can tell you, these are not motivations to kill. I have never murdered anyone, and according to this movie, I'd be a double threat!
Secondly, the ending sucks. It's too muddy to be satisfying. It just kind of lays out some events without giving them context. There's at least three possibilities this ending could mean:
Anyway, all in all, not as bad of a movie as I expected.
But remember, on this Valentine's Day, the moral of this movie: Nerds and fatties need lovin' too
Catch up on past installments:
Jason X
Jason Goes to Hell - The Final Friday
Friday the 13th Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan
The movie starts off with a bunch of middle-schoolers at a Valentine's day dance. A nerdy kid named Jeremy Melton asks all the pretty girls to dance with him. They all reject him cruelly. He then asks a chubby girl to dance with him and they start making out under the bleachers. When some bullies catch them smoochin', the chubby girl claims he attacked her, everyone starts calling him "pervert", and they make fun of him so hard he gets a nosebleed. The bullies then drag him out to the middle of the dance floor and kick his ass. Apparently chaperons weren't invented yet.
Flash forward 13 years. Katherine Heigl, who you may know from Grey's Anatomy, is stretching her acting legs here by playing a Med School student. After going on a bad date with a man named Jason Marquette, she returns to the morgue to practice surgery-ing on some corpses.
She gets a Valentine's card that says something along the lines of "Happy Valentine's Day, I'm going to stab you", and while the writing of the card leaves something to be desired, this guy should seriously get into the greeting card business because the construction of the card was immaculate. It was like a pop-up card with multiple layers and moving parts. Impressive stuff! The card is signed "JM".
Well, surprise, surprise, a psychotic murderer in a Cupid Mask shows up and kills Katherine Heigl's character, and then has a nosebleed out the mask. That right there should tell you everything you need to know about this movie. It is (at least on the surface) a movie about a nerd who girls were mean to who decides years later to kill them.
Unfortunately, the movie takes a downward turn here, as of the 5 girls, Katherine Heigl's character is the only likeable one. Luckily, most of them wind up dead. One of them gets shot by the killer with a hunting bow. You know, the whole "getting shot by Cupid's arrow" thing. Only instead of falling in love after getting shot, she falls off a balcony. Into a dumpster. But the symbolism's still there.
They come to the conclusion that Jeremy Melton got plastic surgery so he'd look less dorky and is secretly dating one of the girls. This leads to a lot of bitchy fingerpointing. At one point, Fatty McGoo admits that Jeremy didn't really attack her, she just didn't want to get made fun of for being fat. At this point she's thin and pretty and ALSO a cast member on Grey's Anatomy.
Cue the big finale where there's a big party and some people get killed. Denise Richards gets killed in a hot tub by a power drill. (On a side note, I don't understand how she became as popular as she did, she's a pretty terrible actress, then again, I think the only movies I've seen her in are this and Starship Troopers.)
It becomes very apparent at one point (and it has been from the beginning for anyone with half a brain) that the main female's boyfriend Adam (played by David Boreanaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer's 'Angel') is Jeremy. He very creepily asks her to dance again. She gets creeped out and runs away. There's a chase scene, and the killer in the Cupid mask tackles her. Adam pops out and shoots Cupid with a gun he happened to find.
They pull off Cupid's mask to reveal Fatty McGoo, who apparently went on a killing spree because her friends treated her poorly as a fat kid. Adam hugs the main character lady, despite her not liking him as a nerdy kid or an alcoholic adult, and his nose starts to bleed, showing that he's Jeremy Melton after all.
First of all, as both a nerd who girls disliked in junior high, and as a bit of a fatty myself, I can tell you, these are not motivations to kill. I have never murdered anyone, and according to this movie, I'd be a double threat!
Secondly, the ending sucks. It's too muddy to be satisfying. It just kind of lays out some events without giving them context. There's at least three possibilities this ending could mean:
- Adam isn't Jeremy Melton, and the chubby girl was the killer all along
- The chubby girl is still the killer, but Adam is Jeremy Melton who got all the face surgery so he could trick the girl into dating him, but nothing more sinister
- Adam IS Jeremy Melton, and the killer, dressed the chubby girl(who is innocent) up in the costume and shot her to cover up his identity
Anyway, all in all, not as bad of a movie as I expected.
But remember, on this Valentine's Day, the moral of this movie: Nerds and fatties need lovin' too
Catch up on past installments:
Jason X
Jason Goes to Hell - The Final Friday
Friday the 13th Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan
I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor delayed until Tuesday
Today's regularly scheduled "I Don't Know, I'm Not a Doctor" will run tomorrow due to the Valentine's Day YNTE Horror Night Special.
This is a public service so your heads don't explode from awesome overload. You're welcome.
This is a public service so your heads don't explode from awesome overload. You're welcome.
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