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Thursday, January 13, 2011

YNTE Horror Night: Jason Goes to Hell - The Final Friday

Welcome to YNTE Horror Night, a spinoff series of YNTE Movie Night following the success of my review of Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. I'm going to stick with Friday the 13th for now, continuing where I left off, but expect me to go back and get those first 7 eventually, as well as branching out into other horror franchises. As always, tons of spoilers ahead. You've been warned!
Before we get into the plot of this movie, a bit of background on the eight movies that came before: Jason Vorhees drowned as a child at summer camp; now as a an adult he murders promiscuous teens around the site of his death.

The original Friday was intended as a one off, then it was expanded and the third film was going to be the last. Then they made a 4th movie entitled "The Final Chapter". So not only has Jason been "killed" before, he's also been "no seriously guys he's really dead forever this time killed" before and always seems to recover. So, since this was intended to be the last Friday the 13th ever (it wasn't), the filmmakers had to come up with a way to make sure he was "those other times we said he was really dead we were just kidding but not this time, this time he's super dead and can't ever not be super dead he will never be back again why don't you believe us killed".

All of this leads to a wacky, disturbing, and more than a little over the top Friday the 13th film unlike any other. It's unique not only because it changed a lot of the core tenets of the franchise, but also because all films after it knew better and changed them back.

If you recall the end of the last movie, it had Jason drowned (again!) and reverted magically back into a child in a New York sewer. This movie flat out ignores this and starts with Jason as an adult, very much alive, and back to killing nekkid ladiez at Crystal Lake.

Unfortunately for Jason, the first nekkid lady he runs into happens to be a government agent laying a trap for him. She flees to the woods, and when he chases her, a bunch of other agents jump out of the bushes and shoot him a bunch. Then they bring in some bombs and blow him to smithereens.

During the autopsy of the smithereens, Jason's black heart (not hyperbole, it's literally black and slimy) starts to beat again. The coroner, being a pro, does what any pro would do in that situation. He picks it up and starts eating it. Beams of light fly out of the corpse chunks and the coroner is possessed by Jason's soul. He then kills everyone in the hospital and cheeses it out of the building.

That's right, Jason is absent for most of the film, instead possessing various bodies with black slime, light beams, and a parasitic snake demon to do his dirty work.

We are introduced to Creighton Duke, a bounty hunter who somehow knows exactly how to kill Jason, for permanentsies! Apparently the worm demon can't survive in a single body for any period of time, so it needs to keep killing to survive. However, if it bonds with a member of the Vorhees family, Jason will be reborn back into his former body at full strength and will be unkillable. But if a Vorhees kills him, it will kill the worm demon and he will stay dead.

Thus, Jason's main goal this movie has shifted from killing random slutty teens to killing his family, characters who have not been involved in the franchise at all until this chapter. Apparently Jason has a sister (despite previously being referred to as an only child). Jason's sister (Diana) has a daughter (Jessica) who in turn had a baby with a schmuck (Steven) who inexplicably becomes the action hero main character. However, Jessica is no longer dating the schmuck and is instead dating a famous TV reporter d-bag.

Jason (via various possessed bodies) decides to kill some teens by the lake for old time's sake then proceeds to his goal - his sister. There's a big fight, and Steven the schmuck steps in at the last moment and breaks it up. Jason gets away, but not before killing Diana (though not managing to posess her corpse). Cops show up and assume Steven is the killer, so he gets hauled off to jail.

Duke is also in jail, and tells Stephen everything he needs to know, but first breaks several of Stephen's fingers for no reason. Worried that Jason will be trying to kill Jessica or the Baby next to take their body, Stephen orchestrates a jailbreak to go rescue them. But first he goes to the old Vorhees house for some reason.

While there, he sees, and I am not making this up, the Necronomicon from the Evil Dead films. I check to see if I'm watching an official Friday the 13th film or reading bad internet fanfic, but alas this is real. Also there, he finds Diana's corpse, which the TV D-Bag had brought there to do a piece on how Jason is still killing or something. He then gets killed and possessed by Jason.

Jason, in her lover's body, goes to possess Jessica. Stephen arrives in the nick of time to kidnap her against her will. He then attempts to explain the whole thing to her, which she shrugs off as idiotic and insane, because, well, it is.

A this point there's a big long action piece where a bunch of minor characters die. It really does nothing to move the plot along. Stephen gets arrested again, and escapes again. Finally, there's a big climactic showdown back at the Vorhees house.

It's important that the climax takes place here because A) the power of the Necronomicon, coupled with a Vorhees causes the magical dagger from Evil Dead to appear. This is the only thing that can kill Jason (I swear I am not making this up). And B) Evil Demon Worm Jason finds his dead sister in the basement and crawls up her hoo-hah.

Completely reborn Jason comes back, complete with a hockey mask. Luckily, predictably, he gets stabbed with the magic dagger and gets drug down to hell, leaving only his hockey mask sitting in the dirt. Then, Freddy Kreuger's clawed hand comes out from the dirt and drags that down too, setting up the inevitable crossover.

None of the mystical elements were BAD per se, but they were SO out of place in a Friday the 13th film I had a hard time enjoying it. Coupled with all the fanboy nods riddled throughout the piece made me glad that this was the Final Friday...

...except that it wasn't! And I'll review those as well! See you next month!

Catch up on past installments:
Friday the 13th Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan

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