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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Epic Quest: The Skinwich

Today my girlfriend let me know that I would be on my own for dinner. She would be gone, meaning I could eat WHATEVER I WANTED. This was a mistake.

I decided I wanted to have a Skinwich.

Sure, it's fake. KFC doesn't really serve the Skinwich, and for good reason. It could very well kill a man. But they do sell other food items containing all the ingredients. This was my in. If they wouldn't sell me one, I'd just make one on my own.

So I hatched a plan. I'd buy a "Doublicious Burger" for the bun, cheese, and bacon. And I'd buy 4 chicken breasts to pull the skin off of. This posed two problems:

1) KFC is expensive, and the whole experiment cost me upwards of 15 dollars.
2) It also, however yielded far more food than I anticipated. If you attempt this, be sure to have a friend ride in the car with you when you go to the store, lest you get some judgemental looks from the employees.
The "Doublicious" did not yield as much cheese or bacon as I had hoped, but we were past the point of no return, as I certainly wasn't about to drive all the way back to KFC to spend MORE money. It's basically a single layer of cheese, a single layer of bacon, and a single piece of chicken. The only thing "double" is the buns, and two is the generally accepted minimum amount of buns a sandwich should have.
I had selected breasts because I assumed I would be able to peel off a big piece of skin, but that didn't turn out to be the case, either. It kind of flaked off in rather small chunks which I stacked up in a pile. If I were to do this again, I'd choose a cheaper piece of chicken, since it all will turn out the same. Two breasts worth on this pile.
I then pulled the chicken off the bun, because hey, this is a SKIN-ONLY sandwich. Unfortunately, some of the cheese (which was already at a premium) had melted to the chicken, so that piece also had to be skinned.
I then piled yet another breast's worth of skins onto the bun.
Then I put the two halves together and voila! Skinwich.
And yes, I actually ate it. In front of a mirror, so there would be proof.

But here's the real surprise: IT WAS SUPER TASTY. I ate the whole thing, and then ate much of the leftover bits and had myself a tasty good time. It was better than the sum of its parts. I know the whole thing was just a joke, but they joked their way into a tasty sandwich.

Would I do it again? Probably not. It required a larger investment of both effort and money than I had hoped, and while it was probably better than anything else on the menu, not by enough to justify the cost. Probably.

Although, I'm going to say it here (and you should take this as a personal challenge): the Skinwich is worth eating at least once.

Just don't eat two, or your heart will explode.


Stevo said...

HAHAHA I love the not a doctor shirt. Favorite part.

Tom said...

Can I have your place and car when you die?

Very nice Myspace shot I might say.

Evan said...

I was going to go for the arms length from above angled down myspace shot, but then I remembered the point of that was tricking people into thinking you're thin and I figured the Skinwich would be a dead giveaway.