Who is driving?

OH MY GOD, CYBORG TURTLE IS DRIVING, HOW CAN THIS BE?


Shared by Rena the Rule Czar via BoingBoing.

Merry Christmas!

So here's a picture of a polar bear. I tried searching Google for "Christmas bear" 'cause I was lazy, but it was all teddy bears, cliparts, and coloring book pages. The suggestions said "did you mean Christmas polar bear?" And lo and behold, here's result #1.

Although one of those coloring book pages might be pretty badass.

Anyway, I'm off to Vegas. Ciao.

Who's Having Emergencies?

Oh my god Bear might possibly be having emergencies! How can this be?

For anyone who doesn't know, WSU has a research center that is dedicated to researching bears. Outside of the cages are signs up that have emergency numbers to call. Out of context, most people would probably go "wtf" at this sign. And what if it's a bear attacking a human, then which one do you call? What if you were the one being attacked and you had to stay on the line? What if the bear was the one calling, how would they know how to spell your name?

In any case, I don't know what kind of emergencies bears could get into. It doesn't SEEM like they're in any imminent danger. I mean they just look so happy.


See?

Who is hungry and a gymnast?

Oh my god, bear is most defiantly hungry and a gymnast! It seems that our furry friend has gotten hungry and decided that berries and squirrels were just not cutting it. His new diet plan seems to involve some bird feed.

Bear

Who's Driving?

Oh my god nobody's driving! How can this be?

Looks like Google is being Google again. Making cars that drive themselves for some reason. And making possible every automated car personality a reality. Night Rider? Herby the Love Bug? Those Semi-trucks in that one Simpson's episode? All future movie cars that drive themselves? I'm sure there are more but I'm too lazy to research them.

This also opens up a whole new avenue for bear to be driving. How could we NOT let this happen?

Who is ripping out people's eyes?

Oh my god Bear is ripping out people's eyes! How can this be? Bear sure seems to be a multitalented individual.

Okay, this is just awesome.

Remember that news story about a bear driving a car I just posted the other day? Apparently somebody that works at a TV station had the same reaction that I did.


As far as I know, this is a legitimate, non-doctored photo of a real news feed.

Awesome.

(Source.)

Who is driving?

OH MY GOD, BEAR IS DRIVING. HOW CAN THIS BE?

On a related note, Bear is NOT allowed to drive my car.

Bear is... I don't even know. How can this be?

So I was browsing Youtube earlier and I found out that Picnicface did another Powerthirst video. And in case you haven't seen Powerthirst, I will be wondering how long you've been in a cave.

In any case, have some videos. Bear makes a cameo appearance in Powerthirsts 2 and 3. Just make sure that you don't have any heart problems and/or conservative friends around you that wouldn't find it funny.

Powerthrist:


Powerthirst 2: Re-domination


Pwerthirst 3: Powermost


By the way, check out their awesome/retro product site and prepare to have your mind blown.

Who is having sex?

OH MY GOD BEAR IS HAVING SEX, HOW CAN THIS BE?

"Are they playing?"

Who is pole dancing?

OH MY GOD BEAR IS POLE DANCING HOW CAN THIS BE?

Who is doing kung fu?

OH MY GOD BEAR IS DOING KUNG FU HOW CAN THIS BE?

I think Tom hates money

It's just kinda gonna get wasted away, like the picture above. Except while in reality, it's just another $10 that will be staying in Evan's bank account... oh who're we kidding, it will get spent on a pizza.

Also, in searching for a good picture, I once again question Google's image search. I typed in "angry money" as the search, and could have gotten these as other possible results:

Oh my god Bear is angry. How can this be?

Who is flying a plane?

Oh my god, bear is flying a plane! How can this.... oh wait, he's just destroying it for food.

So close!

Fortunately, the pilot was able to repair the plane enough to get it to fly... USING DUCT TAPE.

On a related note, remind me never to be a plane with food in it. Dag, yo.

(source)

Take this chief.

Yeah, that's right. I'm going to actually contribute something, Evan.

I stood by while you silently insulted me by not including me in the competition, but no more!

I mean, unconscious? That just hurts.

So for you, Evan, I have gotten something the blog has been lacking for quite a long time....

A BEAR DRIVING!!!!

And not just any old car driving bear! One with swords for teeth and driving a dumptruck of all things!

If this isn't a safety hazard on a construction site I'm not sure what it is. But all credit is due to the creator of The Oatmeal, because nothing is cooler than this.

See what you're missing from Jimmy and the Hammer? Driving bears. Now that I've taught you in comics I think I'm good.

See Evan, a post with words and everything. Now change my damn title. Who's the master sergeant now?

Death Bear

I keep my finger on the pulse of bear related news so I can pass it on to you in the form of "Who is ____? Oh my god, bear is _____, how can this be?" but this goes one step further. Click the link, because I'm not sure "Who is coming to your apartment and taking away painful items your ex left behind? Oh my god DEATH BEAR is coming to your apartment and taking away painful items your ex left behind, but only for 2 days and only if you live in Manhattan, how can this be?" has the same zing.

Who is naked?

Oh my god, bear is naked! How can this be?

The new hawtness

I am now the proud owner of one not-Crapolier. For anyone who intended to buy me a car for Christmas, you are too late. I'll take the cash equivalent instead, though.

If you break the window on this car, my pack of Mexican hunting weasels WILL find you and force you to listen to the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas special on repeat for all eternity. You have been warned.

And to anyone who was wondering, yes, I transferred the 2 litre of Squirt to this car before trading in the old one.

Apparently Bear isn't driving at the moment

So I guess Cleverbot isn't actually a bot, but is a bear who was driving. I feel duped, just like in the Wizard of Oz, or Scooby Doo, or an M. Night Shamalan Film.

Who is killing terrorists?

Oh my god, bear is killing terrorists! How can this be?