Microsoft Spelling Fail

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, peoples!

Don't celebrate Christmas? Screw you, it's just about secular nowadays!

In any case, you guys get any good swag this year? Tell us what you got in the comments.

Also, Denny's was closed. I mean, what the hell...

Obvious troll is obvious.

Is it weird Evan?

Your birthday is your number!

That's how I 'member!


Why I decided to do a haiku there I have no idea.


So I found this horribly made site and decided it'd be a good idea to bash the creator through his blog. Too bad the dang comment functionality doesn't work!

It's on! (And resolutions and so forth)

Alright, so Evan has his goals, for him and us. Sounds good.

But I think Tom and I should come up with our own resolutions as well. Here's what I've got so far:

1) I promise to publicly remember Evan's Birthday. (I'm also tempted to add older posts to make it look like I did)

2) I'll try to post at least one classic YNTE a month. Hell, maybe every Friday, I dunno. At least one a month though.

...yep, that's what I've got so far. I'll try to think of something involving getting admin privileges back or something.


Oh, by the way, what about Stevo?

Mission Accomplished / The Gauntlet

This blog is more often than not, pretty stupid. But for some wierd reason I love it. The times it almost died made me sad.

That's why, January 1st 2009, I swore that this year would not be the year the blog kicked the bucket for good. I resolved that every month would have at least 4 blog posts, even if I had to supply all 4 of them myself. And guess what? We did it. (mainly me).

But now 2010 is quickly approaching, and I don't want 2010 to be the year YNTE dies either! In fact, if possible, I would like 2010 to be EVEN RADDER than 2009. So here is the plan:

1) I personally resolve that every month of 2010 I will personally provide 5 content posts. Last year I only cared that there were 4 by the end, this year my resolution rests firmly on my own shoulders.

2) I challenge Matt and Tom to also post 5 content posts every month. And to up the ante, should they succeed in this task I will pay each of them fifty american dollars.

The gauntlet has been thrown down, Matt and Tom. Will you rise to the challenge?

And to the rest of you, loyal YNTE readers, thanks a bunch for a great 2009.

-Evan

Which is worse?

Alright, so me, my brother, and my friend Kyle just sat through both of these movies, and I need an opinion--which is worse, "The Man Who Saved the World" (a.k.a. Turkish Star Wars) or the Star Wars Holiday Special? The horribly pirated and not even remotely close to Star Wars film created by Turkey, or the Holiday Special about "Life Day" that has nothing to do with anything and has too many Wookies created by CVS? Here's a quick rundown:

Turkish Star Wars
Drawbacks
---Pirated Scenes from Star Wars that change nauseatingly fast
---Pirated music, mostly Indiana Jones
---Terrible acting and props and special effects
---A plot that makes no sense
---Terrible Dialogue
---Overly long poorly choreographed fight scenes with too much jumping
Redeeming Qualities
---The fighting is ridiculous and makes everyone laugh/wtf at the same time
---Kicking rocks makes them explode
---That guy just karate chopped both of this guys arms off and stabbed it with them
---That guy just punched through a bunch of dudes
---That guy just kicked through a bunch of dudes
---That guy just ripped some other guys' heads off
---That guy just kicked a dude in half

Star Wars Holiday Special
Drawbacks
---The movie revolves around Chewbacca's Family (abbreviated as Malla, Itchy, and Lumpy)
---The Wookies can't even make proper Wookie sounds except Chewie, and the other characters can't even say Kashyyyk correctly.
---Musical performances at random times by people who we don't remember or care about
---Random nonsensical characters that just pop in at random times
---Mark Hamill is wearing too much makeup
---Everyone acts as if ret... erm, chuckleheaded
---Terrible dialogue (or no dialogue with just the wookies) and poor script
---There is a scene with paper. STAR WARS UNIVERSE DOESN'T HAVE PAPER
Redeeming Qualities
---Pretty ok music
---The old cartoon with Boba Fett was alright.
---That one imperial guard that says "I hate fish."
---You cannot get any of the actors in that movie to acknowledge its existance
---The commercials that played during the special are retro and ridiculous
---The commercials were a nice reprieve from the movie
---A good reason to become intoxicated.

So which is worse?

You decide.

Oh, also happy birthday to Matt, I guess.

He never publicly remembers my birthday here!

Anyway, happy birthday, dude. You're old.

I cause the trends!

Kris Straub over at Chainsawsuit did a joke on Thursday about Iron Man being an alcoholic.

Sound familiar? Maybe because I did one on Monday.

I'm not at all accusing Kris of stealing the idea from me. I would be incredibly surprised if he even read my comic. Not to mention his joke is probably better. Just pointing out a funny coincidence.

Coincidences are funny. Just like superhero alcoholism!

The new hawtness

I am now the proud owner of one not-Crapolier. For anyone who intended to buy me a car for Christmas, you are too late. I'll take the cash equivalent instead, though.

If you break the window on this car, my pack of Mexican hunting weasels WILL find you and force you to listen to the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas special on repeat for all eternity. You have been warned.

And to anyone who was wondering, yes, I transferred the 2 litre of Squirt to this car before trading in the old one.

It's all so clear now!

When Heroes first came on a few years back, I loved the show. Why wouldn't I? It's a superhero tv show and I am a huge comic book nerd. But at some point my interest in the show started to wane, even to the point where I no longer watch, and while I tried to explain my thoughts on the matter a couple times, I could never quite put my finger on it or vocalize my opinion on the direction the show had taken.

Enter Hijinks Ensue. In just six short panels, he managed to sum up most of the main problems with that show these days. Joel Watson, the creator, will be at Emerald City ComiCon next year along the creator of some strip called "Jimmy and the Hammer". Be sure to swing by this March and say hi to both of us.

EDIT: Just found this hilarious chainsawsuit that was topical.

A public service announcement for those who don't read comic books but are still nerds.

The Dr. Horrible comic book hits stores today. Go buy it!

I think he means drunk.

Umi: But because of that, my friends took me out and got me shitty.
Evan: I don't think that's a real phrase.

Apparently Bear isn't driving at the moment

So I guess Cleverbot isn't actually a bot, but is a bear who was driving. I feel duped, just like in the Wizard of Oz, or Scooby Doo, or an M. Night Shamalan Film.

Check out my skills of an artist! Part 2!

Some of you may remember my photoshopped Ms. Marvel. Well, I have upped my game with the digital painting. Instead of modifying an existing photo, I started from scratch.


What started as a character design for an upcoming(a long time from now) character for Jimmy and the Hammer turned into a fairly realistic human. So I decided to share my results. What do you think?

Who is killing terrorists?

Oh my god, bear is killing terrorists! How can this be?

Well, that basically settles it.

Last Saturday, I was at Benaroya Hall, at a Q&A for the incredibly talented (and always funny) Kevin Smith. He answered questions and told stories for a solid 3 and a half hours.

One person asked him "Who is driving?".

And Kevin simply replied, "Bear is driving, how can this be?".

In another reference to that scene, he also touched on how his ideal transformers movie is just 15 minutes of busses full of people transforming into robots and then have blood and guts just dripping out of them during the transformation.

All in all, a fun evening.

Looking foreward to seeing Mike Birbiglia on Friday. Will HE reference bits from old Kevin Smith cartoons that our blog seems to obsess over? (hint: probably not.)

In the Spirit of the Season

Ok, so it's been a while since we've had a YNTE post about... food. And it's almost halloween. How do we remedy this? With this:


It looks delicious. But it probably looks more delicious than it tastes... or is it?

Source here.

I feel OLD.

Jurrassic Park came out SIXTEEN YEARS AGO.

And on the heels of my feeling old, xkcd had to point out today that Pokemon has been out for OVER A DECADE and that kids born after Aladdin came out will turn EIGHTEEN next year.

Good Lord, I'm a fossil.

Cue the fanfare!

You Need to Eat has surpassed 200 posts!

This is a truly momentous occasion, almost as important as the time White Jesus came to Washington DC with a group of our founding fathers (including George Washington, Seqoyah, Christina McAullife, and "Black Union Soldier") to give our nation's constitution to a small child in front of a politician ignoring the event on his cell phone, a lawyer counting money, and an immigrant who is shocked and terrified to see White Jesus, but "is free to worship as he pleases".

I'm pretty sure that actually happened.

EDIT: I apologize that in my original description, I failed to point out that Ronald Reagan was among the founding fathers.

Just like that one time

Remember that one time where we pissed off Evan by editing this one comment to have bad grammar like one of the posts earlier that day? And he took away our editing rights? Something about more better or something. Whatever. In any case, this commercial that I just saw reminds me of that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6WX7XGcRhk

Good times... Good times. If we had the power to edit each other's posts again I'd say edit the hell out of this one. Whaddya say Evan? (Maybe my feeble attempt to restore editing powers will work).


P.S. EVAN IS A GOD AND I TOTALLY RESPECT HIS DECISION TO REVOKE ADMIN RIGHTS AND I KNOW THAT MOSTFUNNEREST ISN'T A WORD. NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM PEOPLE EDITING EACH OTHERS POSTS.

(12/22/09 edit)P.P.S. YO EVAN I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, I'MMA LET YOU FINISH BUT THAT ONE POST HAD THE BEST EDITS OF ALL TIME.

Fantasy Football

Recently multiple webcomics have expounded upon the topic of fantasy football, namely that it's really freaking nerdy.

First, two offerrings from Dave Kellett at Sheldon:


And also one from Penny Arcade:



These produced an interesting conversation wherein my dad suggested a combination of the two: a fantasy game with fighters and magic and dragons and adventure, but run off stats generated from the real world (ex, football stats).

My thought is that football stats themselves are too sport-ish to be the backend for this real world RPG, but i think the concept is sound: take the RPG into the real world of stats where any number of variables could affect the outcome, instead of just dice rolls. It could be a great way to get nerds to care about... something.

I just haven't figured out what. Any thoughts?

I'm making fun of something someone said and it isn't Tom for once.

This follows a conversation about how nerdy Umi is.

Umi: I had to take my phone off my belt clip. It kept hitting stuff.
Evan: Just put it in your pocket protector, you nerd.
Umi: I WISH I had a pocket protector.

...he wasn't joking.

Fun with Maps Part 2

Two posts in one day? Not so lame any more!

This map plots out the most frequently used name for generic soft drinks, be it "pop", "soda", or "coke". I find this map hilarious because of its dead on accuracy.

http://popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html

Fun with Maps Part 1

I've got a few things I've been meaning to post, but haven't because I am busy and also kind of lame.

For your pleasure today, someone has broken down the 7 deadly sins and mapped the frequency of them per-capita. Check it out. Interesting stuff.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/united-states-of-sin

Oh, silly Japan...

Japan has apparently developed a Robot Teddy Bear nurse. Apparenly somebody decided there were too many old people in hospitals and not enough nurses to lift them. So they did the logial thing and created a bear robot to do it.

Source

I'm not dead! I promise!

...just incredibly busy. I've been putting a ton of my effort behind getting my webcomic ready to launch. But with a new webcomic on the way, new opportunities are arising to keep track of what I'm up to:

1) I've set up a twitter account. I'll be test driving that for the next couple weeks or so to see how I feel about it. You can follow that at: https://twitter.com/jathevan
2) The webcomic (upon launch) will ALSO have a blog attached. So I'll (hopefully) be posting there. That's coming soon. The webcomic itself should be pretty rad, too. If you enjoy my random posts about bears, you will likely also enjoy the webcomic. It's set to launch this weekend, barring any major problems.

Note that these are NOT going to replace YNTE. I'll continue to come in here and post random thoughts, news stories, poorly photoshopped images and embarassing things Tom said.

Also Matt, Steve and Tom all said they would start posting more. Haha! On-the-spotted!

Almost there...

As many of you know, I have a google alert set up for "bear is driving" so you can always get the cutting edge news about bears driving cars. In reality, I get a lot of wierd stories about a lot of things, rarely about bears driving cars. But this story comes close:

"A Bear man was jailed on drunken driving and other offenses after triggering a crash in Dewey Beach early Thursday, police said."

See? It's only a bear-man, so only half bear, half man. But he was not only driving, but drunk driving! So it counts.

Also, don't do a google images search for "bear man". The results are not pleasant.

Source

Evan gets sentimental

Evan: "That's how I roll. You scratch my back.... I tell people you scratched my back!"

Sounders Rule!

Today I got to see the Sounders play an open cup semifinal match versus Huston. We thought we had reserved second row seats, but get there and find out it's general admission seating. Jason and I were pretty pissed until we found our seats: front row, just to the right of the net. We were literally ten feet from the action.

33rd minute: Houston scores.

For most of the rest of the game, Sounders weren't looking great. They maintained possession for much of the game, and took a bunch of shots, but didn't score until...

88th Minute (of 90): sounders score, tying the game. Overtime!

4th minute of OT. Sounders score again to take the lead!

They manage to hold onto their lead and win the game.

To top it all off, the crowd we crazy! My favorite was whenever the opposing goalie took a goal kick, everyone yelled "You suck, asshole!" that was the one cheer that took off.

Anyway, crazy fun! Go sounders!

Overheard at Taco Bell (cont.)

...my car's fenders

Overheard at Taco Bell

Tom: "Oh man, Cody never helped me shave."

Look, a boy with short hairs.

Remember when Matt forgot to eat?

Hey, remember that time back in October when I was having stomach issues? Well, it happened again a few weeks ago. Except that time I had been eating.

So I went to the doctor again with this stomach pain, and they have the nerve to tell me that it's not my stomach. It was actually my appendix. Which was in the wrong spot.

Long story short, they cut that out, rendered me immobile for a few days, and gave me an excuse to get a handicap placard for my car. It's almost like a fast pass at Disneyland that's good through July. And hey, I don't need to follow any of this restricted diet crap! Although, my arse is still pretty numb from that hospital bed.



Reflecting back on this, I probably should have blogged about this while I was in the hospital, and gotten all of that pity and sympathy that you wouldn't care to give... But I thought it'd be funny to give Evan crap about it first on Facebook.

Webcomic Rising!

To any of you out there who haven't heard yet, I'm making a webcomic. Posts will start coming soon with more information as I get a bit closer to the grand premiere.

Some information to tide you over:
1) It'll be a comic book limited series. 4 issues, each issue with a cover and 22 pages of content. I'll be releasing them one page at a time, on a regular schedule (twice a week, most likely). Once an issue is available in its entirety online, print versions will be manufactured for sale!
2) The main characters will be a firefighter/private investigator with a mullet and a talking monkey with sunglasses. These characters are copyrighted by me! No stealing!
3) I know a lot more than I'm telling. I've got the whole series plotted out, some cool characters and some cool plot twists. A bit of a mystery, some action, and a lot of comedy. This is a story I'm really excited to tell. But rather than tell you the details now, I'll tell them to you in the strip.

So that's it in a nutshell. I'll definitely post again periodically with updates.

On an unrelated note: Matt, Steve and Tom. You all suck at posting far more than I do. If you guys posted every time you give me crap about not posting enough, the blog wouldn't have a content problem. Just saying. We'll wait and see if one of you can bust out a 4th post this month, but the smart money says I'll have to do it myself.

Did you know Bear is a city?

Apparently when you sign up for news alerts based on "Bear is Driving" you become privy to some bizarre news stories. Like apparently Delaware has a city named Bear. And in this city, unshaven men with bad teeth carjack 80-year-olds in burrito parking lots.

Source

I could not make this stuff up if I tried.

This poster is real.

Isn't it motivational?

Bear is Driving??

I just read a news story which contains the sentence:

"Washington said it was a black bear, which at one point even stood up in front of the car he was driving."

Probably just a misplaced antecedant, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a bear was driving.

http://www.progress-index.com/articles/2009/05/20/news/pi_progindex.20090520.a.pg1.pi0520bear_s1.2536537_top2.txt

This is why you're fat

Considering our recent super-sized ventures, I feel it fitting to pay tribute to another site dedicated to ridiculous meals.

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

For some, an optical "syrup of ipecac" if you will, for us, a recipe book. Perhaps we will have to contribute one of these days. Anyone have any ideas of what we could make?

Eff it.

This, my friends, is a burger from Effie Burger in Lewiston, ID. Not just any burger though, but the double cheeseburger. My buddies and I went there for lunch. As you can see by the can of pepsi sitting by it, you know right off the bat that this is one hell of a burger. Loaded with swiss and cheddar and all the fixin's. The thing cost $15 and must've had about 3 or 4 poinds of meat on it. Basically you had to cut this burger into 4 slices and pretending you were eating 4 double-half-pound burgers.

The end result?

I ate it all. That is my plate, minus a burger plus tomates, napkin, and empty pepsi can. The tomatoes made for a nice stand to stab the knife into that I used to cut it.

I should've gotten a shot of it next to my head, so I could prove to Evan that you CAN eat something bigger than you head. Suck it!

Also, it was delicious. I ate some tater tots to help keep it down.

New Shoebaru!

Positively better shoebaru.

Subaru

Stevo: The dots make a subaru..

Tom: Shoebaru?

I haven't missed Evan's birthday once. Nope.

And to prove that I've never missed his birthday once, here's a picture of a pizza with candles in it. Happy Birthday Evan!

Taco Devil Mar, part 2 (this time with pictures!)

There's not a lot to say about the 5 pound burrito fiasco that Tom didn't say in his retelling. So I'll let the pictures do the heavy lifting. Look at how, the further down you look, the worse we look. It's the deadly trifecta of stomachache, failure, and realizing you're out 20 bucks.

It takes two people to lift. Seriously.

5 Pound Burrito>Tom's head.

I can't say I understood the strategy behind the burrito ball.

Needless to say, we're all failures.

Props to Alex for bringing the camera, and to Steve for being too big of a woman to participate, freeing him up to take pictures.

Taco devil Mar

This is truly a sad day for the YNTEers. We entered the Taco Del Mar on Meridian and 112th with a spring in our steps and a twinkle in our stomachs, though left saddened and $20 dollars poorer when we entered the 5 pound burrito challenge.

Starting out strong, Evan, me, and some random kid named Alex ripped mercilessly through the four-tortillaed demon for over fifteen minutes. This one was strong with the force (and tomatoes) and wore us out just a little over halfway. I stood up to pace the table and decide my next move, while Alex rolled his up into a condensed ball and Evan kept a steady, grueling pace. This man was surely a champion. Conditioned for such events with various heart attack burgers and donut holes, we watched in awe as Evan slowly but surely edged towards the win with just under 3 minutes left.

"yeah.." Evan timidly burps, trying to hold in the pounds and pounds of ricey innards of the tenacious devil, not quite wanting to admit defeat. 1 minute, 30 seconds, 5 seconds... We had all lost.

The torturous cashier laughs maniacally as we droop our heads, wanting nothing less than a swift death, or a breath mint.

Lets put it this way: Cinco de Mayo is no longer fun..

We will have official pictures of the brutal defeat soon so stay tuned

Achievement Unlocked: VOOT!

Virtual On Oratorio Tangram came out for XBLA a few days ago. Since Virtual On is, of course, the best game series ever, you should go download this and get an easy 200 points added to your gamerscore.

Gogo Giant Robots! (Oh, sorry, the picture I posted with this is the original ad for the first game. Epic!)

I have no idea why Evan hasn't jumped on the opportunity for really easy points on this yet. Maybe he hasn't been eating enough. Or maybe he ate Spider Pig, and somehow got swine flu. Not to mention that this whole swine flu incident is just a big media hype, and I'll give into it when pigs fly... then we'd have to worry about avian swine flu. Crap.

Free Comic Book Day was today...

...and you missed it. It was a blast and you all should go next year!

I picked up a bunch of free comics, including Avengers, Wolverine, Simpsons, Clone Wars, and a special 25th Anniversary reprint of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Number 1. I also got some classic Punisher trades, and two Wolverine graphic novels, so now I can read up and see just how inaccurate the movie was.

But the fun part of it for me was dressing up in my Rorschach costume. Picture time!

Myself, Batman and a mini Boba Fett

Some Stormtroopers from the 501st were there to keep out the troublemakers.

Me vs. Batman, who will win? (Hint: totally me.)

Jango Fett and a Clone Trooper were also on hand to keep us safe.

All in all, a fun event as always. Probably the best FCBD yet. Next year, I'll see you there!

You can check out Atomic Comics' website for more pictures. As of this writing, they're not up yet, but they should be soon.