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Monday, December 14, 2009

Which is worse?

Alright, so me, my brother, and my friend Kyle just sat through both of these movies, and I need an opinion--which is worse, "The Man Who Saved the World" (a.k.a. Turkish Star Wars) or the Star Wars Holiday Special? The horribly pirated and not even remotely close to Star Wars film created by Turkey, or the Holiday Special about "Life Day" that has nothing to do with anything and has too many Wookies created by CVS? Here's a quick rundown:

Turkish Star Wars
---Pirated Scenes from Star Wars that change nauseatingly fast
---Pirated music, mostly Indiana Jones
---Terrible acting and props and special effects
---A plot that makes no sense
---Terrible Dialogue
---Overly long poorly choreographed fight scenes with too much jumping
Redeeming Qualities
---The fighting is ridiculous and makes everyone laugh/wtf at the same time
---Kicking rocks makes them explode
---That guy just karate chopped both of this guys arms off and stabbed it with them
---That guy just punched through a bunch of dudes
---That guy just kicked through a bunch of dudes
---That guy just ripped some other guys' heads off
---That guy just kicked a dude in half

Star Wars Holiday Special
---The movie revolves around Chewbacca's Family (abbreviated as Malla, Itchy, and Lumpy)
---The Wookies can't even make proper Wookie sounds except Chewie, and the other characters can't even say Kashyyyk correctly.
---Musical performances at random times by people who we don't remember or care about
---Random nonsensical characters that just pop in at random times
---Mark Hamill is wearing too much makeup
---Everyone acts as if ret... erm, chuckleheaded
---Terrible dialogue (or no dialogue with just the wookies) and poor script
---There is a scene with paper. STAR WARS UNIVERSE DOESN'T HAVE PAPER
Redeeming Qualities
---Pretty ok music
---The old cartoon with Boba Fett was alright.
---That one imperial guard that says "I hate fish."
---You cannot get any of the actors in that movie to acknowledge its existance
---The commercials that played during the special are retro and ridiculous
---The commercials were a nice reprieve from the movie
---A good reason to become intoxicated.

So which is worse?

You decide.

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