YNTE Gaming Night: Halo and Metroid

Once again, the two franchises released at approximately the same time, in a competition to test whether Nintendo or Microsoft has the bigger ego. Regardless, I picked both up.

The first one I played through (on Co-op with my brother) was Halo Reach. For those of you who don't know, it's a precursor to Halo 1, so it's like Star Wars Episode 1, where things are less advanced (supposedly) and yet they look prettier. However, they stayed pretty consistent--Grunts didn't know how to speak English, couldn't dual wield, etc. But the inclusion of Brutes and new weapons kinda throws off the ambiance a bit. To be honest, it was a good storyline and a good addition to the franchise, but it felt the same as all the other games. If you've played other games and you play this, it just seems like recycled material. But, I suppose the attention to detail elsewhere makes up for it. As for the other modes, this game is even more feature rich than the other games. It still has multiplayer, the forge, and several other solo game types to help you earn those credits and achievement points.

Then afterwards I played through Metroid. Since this was on the Wii, it obviously wasn't as shiny as its Xbox antithesis, but it was still expertly done. Instead of its other 3D predecessors that were created by Retro Studios, this one was developed by Team Ninja, famous for their Dead or Alive franchise and the 3d adaptation of Ninja Gaiden. And highlighting womanly jiggly-bits. It seemed like an obvious choice for them to develop this game, as Samus is probably Nintendo's bustiest heroine, but for once they put away the boob-physics and made a seriously good game without staring at her chest in every cutscene. The gameplay was a blend of platforming/FPS/puzzle and played mostly like a 2D/2.5D game, and the cutscenes were also expertly crafted. The constant narration of trivial things by Samus in these cutscenes was kinda off-putting at times, but looking past this just gives the game a complete feel. In addition, after completing the game, you can view all of the cutscenes back to back in the theater mode, which turns the game into a feature-length movie.

Both were good games, I recommend picking them both up. Sorry Evan, Metroid won't add to your gamerscore still.

Minecraft

So one of the things that has been sucking up a lot of my time lately is a little game called Minecraft. Right now it's still in alpha, but it's still pretty fun to play. The free version has an early build of single and multiplayer, where the object at the moment is pretty much just to build awesome shit. If you guys liked legos as a kid, you'd probably find this to be appealing.

Check it out. It's going to be released into Beta soon, so it is going to be more feature rich soon enough.

Excuses

I have MANY valid reasons why I haven't been posting this month. And by "reasons" I mean "excuses". And by "valid" I mean "sort of valid". And by "MANY" I mean "a few".

-Jimmy and the Hammer has transitioned from once a week back up to twice a week, which, surprisingly enough, takes more time.
-Gamestop had a "Buy Two, Get One Free" sale, and I got a bunch of games for the 360, including "Dragon Age"
-Additionally, I decided I should play through all the single player missions of Starcraft (though with cheats, to speed things up) so I'm up to date on the story before I eventually pick up the sequel (not on launch day)
-My car died and I had to replace the fuel pump in it (800 dollars)
-I've also been watching a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm almost at the point where I've seen every episode at least twice.
-You know, work and sleep and stuff.

Are some of those valid? Yes. Are some of them lame cop outs? Also yes. Will it affect my ability to get 5 posts by the end of the month? Not even a little.

Advertizing sucks these days.

What the hell, Microsoft? I realize you didn't use made up words like "funner" or "funnest" or "the most funnerlyierest", but do you not understand how to do a comma-separated list?

Sadly though, this is not the worst advertisement of the day. I heard a radio ad for 7-11 that went something like:

"Do you like TOTALLY AWESOME video games like Mafia Wars or Farmville? No? Well you should like them because they are cool, far cooler than whatever shitty games you like. So shop at 7-11!"

1) Farmville and Mafia Wars suck. Clearly you are not in a position to be chastizing MY taste in video games.
2) What the fuck do they have to do with 7-11?

But assuming 7-11 wants to continue an ad campaign of blatant peer pressure, I've developed a much better ad campaign for them. If any 7-11 ad execs read this blog, FEEL FREE TO USE THIS CAMPAIGN FOR FREE. It's on the house.

"Hi kids? Do you like the TOTALLY AWESOME act of stabbing yourself repeatedly in the eye with a beef jerky stick? No? You are probably a wierd lamer with no friends who probably isn't even cool enough to stab yourself in the eye with salted meat. But if you're a cool kid who doesn't value dorky things like being able to see properly, then be sure to go with the eye stabbing; and where better to get beef jerky to slam in your own face? 7-11."

This ad would be much more topical. You're welcome.

I now want Marvel vs. Capcom 3

Why? Deadpool is a confirmed character. I'm not much of a comic buff (or like them more than any adult should), but I know enough that he is awesome.

"Deadpool's teleportation device will comically malfunction if you spam his teleport move. Also, he breaks the fourth wall by beating his opponents with his health bar."

via EventHubs

YNTE Movie Night: February Edition

Today I am debuting a new feature I've had in my head for a while: YNTE Movie Night. The idea is that it's like a book club, only less lame. Everyone who wants to participate watches the same movie and then afterward we discuss it's merits.

However, with YNTE Movie Night, there likely won't be many merits: because I will be choosing exclusively BAD movies. Some may be so bad they're good, some may just be bad. I will have no way of knowing until I see them.

Participation is simple: just watch the movie before the end of the month. Then, write about how bad it is and if it had any redemptive qualities or if it could have been improved if it were created by raccoons. If you're a contributor to the site, just post it up! If not, drop your review in a comment or email to evan@jimmyandthehammer.com and I'll parse them all together and post it. This is an opportunity for readers of the blog to become writers of the blog. Pretty cool!

That being said, say something interesting, or I won't post it.

Without any further ado, this months TERRIBLE movie:Far Cry, by Uwe Boll.

Uwe Boll has a history of taking beloved video game franchises and turning them into TERRIBLE movies. His filmmaking style basically revolves around somebody explaining a video game to him in 7 words or less and he makes up the rest of the details. For example, Bloodrayne (the game) could be described as "Half-Human, half vampire chick, who fights nazis" Unfortunately, that was 8 words, so based on the first 7 he set it in the dark ages and it makes no sense at all.

The plot for Far Cry is "Man on an island with a gun". How can that go wrong?

Luckily, here in America, Far Cry got the straight to DVD treatment.

But it remains to be seen: will this be so bad, so removed from the source material it will be funny? Or just painfully bad? You decide on YNTE Move Night!

EDIT: I just checked, and for those of you with Netfilx, it is available through Instant Streaming.

This game sounds rad

Rose: "In this game your horse-breeding farm is animated in a fantasy surroundings. The game enables you to breed legendary horses such as Pegasus, Unicorn, Fire-steed, Ice-steed and Demon-steed."

Evan: what game is this?

it sounds legendary

Rose: "Secret of the Magic Crystals"

On sale for $6.99 today on Steam !!!

Evan: wa wa we wow!

why are you talking to me and NOT BUYING THAT RIGHT NOW?

Achievement Unlocked.

Earlier today when I posted that I would be hitting 10k "soon", I was still 160 points away. I knew I could get 160 points in a few days. I had no idea it would only take hours.

10k is a HUGE deal for me, way bigger than it should be, but whatev. Point is, I set a goal, I buckled down, and I saw it to completion, which is rare for me. Sure the goal involved playing a lot of video games, but still.

Anyway, thanks to anyone who helped me get here. I did it.

Enchanted Arms

I finally finished Enchanted Arms and in doing so, unlocked the last acheivement needed to get my full 1000. So you get a picture of Atsuma to celebrate.