Evan's Horrible Product Name Contest Prize

Evan received his prize of pizza and bread sticks on Wednesday.

I would also like to thank everyone that participated. I didn't know if the contest would actually work. Also, I learned that I should actually make some rules for a contest.

Winner - Horrible product name for a good invention

It is I, the Rule Czar, with my first post EVER! You will find that I like caps lock. Also referring to obscure lines from movies in a way that only I and a few others find hilarious. Posting privileges have been bestowed upon me so that I may hand down decrees from on high, rather than just give little notes in the mostly-neglected comment section. I intend to immediately abuse my privilege and go mad with power. MAD, I TELL YOU!

Anyways. Without further ado, I shall reveal the winner of the Horrible Product Name contest! Hopefully Umi has rustled up a worthy prize, because the winner is....(drumroll)...

Evan, with his submission of i.Beat blaxx! Take a bow, Evan, because that name is truly heinous.

To everyone else, thanks for playing, and maybe we'll have a new contest next month, because this was fun.

Horrible product name for a good invention - take 2!

You will notice there is no rule stating one entry per person. As such, here is my second entry.

Research in Motion, the company behind Blackberry, has just created a new Careers page for those looking to apply for a position in the company. The URL? http://rim.jobs

The URL probably already got pulled, honestly I'm scared to look. But I assure you, this actually happened.

I realize the contest is for "horrible product name for a good invention", and a careers page on a website is really nothing new. But it's a pretty horrible name, and maybe that will propel me to the prize.

Horrible Product Name for a Good Invention: The Bugzooka

Alright, so my product is a borderline As-Seen-On-TV type product. I could have done the Slap Chop, but the commercial is great; or the Eggstractor, but it's not really a great invention seeing that it explodes eggs; or Comfort Wipe. I don't need to get into details on that one. All you need to know is that people are terrible.

But this one is different. It's the Bugzooka. This one is just oozing badness all around. First of all, you liken the product in your mind to being a projectile of sorts, since you see the name and think of this:

But that's not how it works at all. It uses suction to bring bugs through a one-way door, instead of firing some projectile to splatter them against a wall. Secondly, it's not very flashy or complex, it's just a spring connected to an enclosed chamber with a button to release the spring to cause a small amount of suction. You could do the same job with a vacuum cleaner, and although the suction on one of those would be better, it'd be a pain in the ass to lug around just to get a spider off your walls. Lastly, their website doesn't really make the case well that this is a good product right off the bat.

But, I happen to have one, and let me tell you, it has caught plenty of spiders in my day. Living down in a basement can do that. All you need to do is push on the end until the spring locks in place, stand a safe distance from whatever pest you're trying to remove from your vicinity, and press the button to exile the thing from your floor or wall or wherever it is. The thing is, the device (usually) doesn't kill the bugs, it just sucks them up and you can remove the end of the device and observe them. Alternatively you can release the bugs into the wild. Here, let me show you...

Uhm... well, you CAN release the bugs into the wild... I guess. You just have to put your hand so damn close to them. These have been in here for months, maybe I should go toss these somewhere. Don't let any nature freaks/arachnophobes see this spider prison death camp, it might upset them.

BUT I DIGRESS. Basically, it keeps spiders the hell away from me by putting them in a clear plastic prison. And keeping spiders out of the range of anywhere close to me is something I can support.

Horrible product name for a good invention - i.Beat blaxx

I accept Umi's contest challenge. My entry will be the "i.Beat blaxx" MP3 player.

German mp3 manufacturer TrekStor has a whole line of mp3 players in the i.Beat line. i.Beat blaxx was just a new, black mp3 player, following their i.Beat ________ naming structure.

Apparently someone noticed the problem, and it is now just named blaxx.

via listverse


The rules of the contest are as follows (since Umi didn't specify):
1) The contest will run one week, until January 17th, at midnight. Get your entries in before then!
2) If you aren't a writer for the blog, leave a comment in any of the entry posts.
3) Winner will be selected by the Rule Czar, and her ruling is FINAL. No heckling!
4) Prize will be supplied by Umi, and it had better be something GOOD.

Horrible product name for a good invention - Skunk Juice Earbuds

I'm not trying to cram a lot of posts into one day, I just have found a lot of interesting things to post about today. That being said, I have come up with a way to help everyone generate more posts for this month. We need to have a contest this month for the worst product name for a relatively good/decent invention.

My contribution to this contest will be Skunk Juice earbuds. You should watch the videos. They are mildly entertaining.