Evan's Horrible Product Name Contest Prize

Evan received his prize of pizza and bread sticks on Wednesday.

I would also like to thank everyone that participated. I didn't know if the contest would actually work. Also, I learned that I should actually make some rules for a contest.

Matt FAILED (edit: not really!)

I alluded to this last post, but Matt only had F O U R posts in December. As per my claim when I paid him in full as though he had made 5 posts, he now owes me 2 dollars or 2 pizzas.

I guess he and Tom were BOTH failures. TO AN EQUAL MAGNITUDE.

EDIT: I'm an idiot. I missed the Christmas post Matt made, and he caught my mistake before I did. Public shame is less fun when you shame yourself.

Matt you can still give me 2 dollars or two pizzas, but now it would be VOLUNTARY not mandatory.

Five pounds is too many pounds

Once again, I valiantly attempted the Taco Del Mar Cinco De Mayo 5 Pound Burrito Challenge. And once again, I was bested by the mighty beast. I could make excuses about it being slightly larger this year, or the fact that it wasn't wrapped in foil, but the truth is, I just didn't measure up. I did a bit better than last year, though. Keep reading for pictures!

see? FIVE tortillias this year, up from 4 last year.


We got to wear fancy hats!
I was joined by two frat boy types who had NO IDEA what they were getting into. They tried using a KNIFE AND FORK. Didn't even get halfway. Amateurs.
Just barely in, and my buritto is already falling apart. At first it wasn't a problem...
...but by the end the thing was barely holding together.
This should be my new facebook photo.
At the 23 minute mark, I still had this much left, and while I still had energy and enthusiasm, I could not make myself take big enough, or fast enough bites to finish the rest. I could have pressed on and gotten pretty close but I wouldn't have finished and would have felt much worse the rest of the day.

So I washed my hands and walked away, defeated. I'll have to wait until next year for the rematch.

I'm looking forward to Matt's experience. He called me and let me know of a complication, but I think he was still going to make an attempt of sorts. Stay tuned for his scintillating report!

I feel OLD.

Jurrassic Park came out SIXTEEN YEARS AGO.

And on the heels of my feeling old, xkcd had to point out today that Pokemon has been out for OVER A DECADE and that kids born after Aladdin came out will turn EIGHTEEN next year.

Good Lord, I'm a fossil.

Fun with Maps Part 1

I've got a few things I've been meaning to post, but haven't because I am busy and also kind of lame.

For your pleasure today, someone has broken down the 7 deadly sins and mapped the frequency of them per-capita. Check it out. Interesting stuff.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/united-states-of-sin

Taco Devil Mar, part 2 (this time with pictures!)

There's not a lot to say about the 5 pound burrito fiasco that Tom didn't say in his retelling. So I'll let the pictures do the heavy lifting. Look at how, the further down you look, the worse we look. It's the deadly trifecta of stomachache, failure, and realizing you're out 20 bucks.

It takes two people to lift. Seriously.

5 Pound Burrito>Tom's head.

I can't say I understood the strategy behind the burrito ball.

Needless to say, we're all failures.

Props to Alex for bringing the camera, and to Steve for being too big of a woman to participate, freeing him up to take pictures.

Feel the loss of brain cells!

Lately, my computer has been very broken. And as my main source of television, I've been streaming video on Fancast. While at first I was just watching the shows I normally watch, it's sort of devolved into me watching back episodes of Doogie Houser MD and Hole in the Wall.

And heres the thing: Doogie Houser is a show that is REALLY inappropriate for children, even though I'm pretty sure they're the target audience. Episode 1 has a scene where a nurse takes off Doogie's pants to give him a blowjob before revealing it was part of a prank. Episode 2 involves a 40 something year old lady asking Doogie to father her children. Episode 3 has Doogie's girlfriend breaking up with him because he gave her a pelvic exam. The kid's 16, give it a rest!

Luckily Hole in the Wall has much more innocent plot lines such as "Sumo Wrestlers vs Jockeys.'

Caveman of the blog.

So apparently Evan thinks he's being the big man on this blog by revoking everyone's admin rights to edit other posts. Hilarious...not!

I guess I'll just have to resort to posting random funny photos of Evan on the blog.
In this first one he looks oddly like a caveman...not sure why.